Tag Archives: Claire Forlani

Kevin Smith

Kevin Smith’s voice spoke to a lot of teenagers back in the 1990s. A lot of those teenagers have grown up and developed a keener sense of humor and a stronger desire for quality film-making. The guy can set-up some pretty good jokes, but he also doesn’t know when to quit, and even he admits a lot of his jokes are too easy. His film-making skills are amateurish for the most part. He has historically cast his friends in significant roles regardless of their acting ability. He has no appreciable skill in evoking good acting. And the pacing in his films is generally irritating, as he’ll throw in jokes for their own sake, regardless of whether or not it makes sense given the plot. I wonder if he had given his scripts to a good director who could edit and cast well, if we’d be talking about the good writer and not the embarrassing director.  All that said, I still like some of his movies despite myself.

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back: I remember laughing a lot when I saw this twelve years ago, but I honestly don’t remember 98% of the movie, and I was at a party at the time. I do remember most of the jokes wouldn’t make any sense unless you had already watched every Kevin Smith movie to that point, which seems like a lot of money to spend to cater to a really specific audience. That hyper amount of referential humor also usually isn’t as funny upon repeated viewings.

Grade: N/A

Clerks II: Funny story, I was going to see this in the theater with friends, but their car broke down on the way (a few days before they moved out of state) and we didn’t wind up seeing it for another year. My friends car was quite the appropriate analogy for this wreck of a film. The authenticity of the first movie was stripped away for a silly plot, the dick jokes are even more obvious, and the original actors haven’t improved their limited skills. What saves this movie from being a complete disaster are an earnest performance by Rosario Dawson and a funny cameo by Jason Lee. Completely pointless.

Grade: D

Mallrats: After the success of Clerks, Smith got a Hollywood budget and some Hollywood actors. And he used it for ninety minutes of dick jokes. Once again, Jason Lee saves this movie; he’s good for a few genuine laughs. But there’s too much in the way of unimaginative gross-out humor. The acting is subpar, highlighted by wooden performances by Claire Forlani, Shannon Doherty, and Ben Affleck. Jay & Silent Bob’s appearance is very forced.

Grade: C-

Chasing Amy: A promising step in the right direction for Smith, his first real attempt at a genuine story. And he hits some good notes here. Jason Lee is again hilarious, as is Dwight Ewell. There’s some good honest discussions about sexuality and jealousy. And I thought the movie’s climax was brutal and hilarious with a non-contrived ending. But Ben Affleck nearly ruins everything with his lead performance. His big speech spoke to the teenager me, but is laughable now, especially because of his delivery. And Joey Lauren Adams, while giving a good effort, has a voice so shrill it’s hard to listen to her for long.

Grade: B

Dogma: Easily Smith’s best directed movie, with a silly plot that isn’t dumbed down by a hundred dick jokes. Ben Affleck and Matt Damon play two fallen angels who try to exploit a loophole and get back into Heaven. If they do, humanity’s existence will be negated. An abortion worker (Linda Fiorentino) tries to stop them. There are some inspired choices here by Smith. Chris Rock plays the 13th apostle. Alanis Morissette plays God. Alan Rickman plays the voice of God. George Carlin plays a Cardinal. Unfortunately, he couldn’t help himself and had an extended scene with a Shit Demon, which was gross and not funny. And Jay & Silent Bob are once again contrived and pointless. It’s hilarious that this movie caused controversy and boycotts. Believing Kevin Smith’s opinion of religion would influence the masses is laughable in the first place, but moreover the movie doesn’t take itself all that seriously.

Grade: B+

Clerks: Smith begged, borrowed, and stole to create this movie on a shoestring budget inside the same convenience store in which he was working at the time. The movie takes place over the course of about 18 hours, detailing the conversations and hijinks of two disgruntled workers. It received significant critical acclaim, which is curious considering the direction is not good and the acting is beyond horrendous. Or perhaps it’s because the critics found themselves laughing despite those things. There are a few inspired jokes, a few funny dick jokes, a few not-funny dick jokes, and some armchair philosophy that runs the gamut from amusing to banal. I think why I still love it is the good chemistry between Dante and Randal, and the amusing goings-on of drug-dealers Jay & Silent Bob, whose presence actually makes sense. I also, as Randal put, used to “work in a shitty video store,” and can empathize with every aspect of his work day. When I would close the store at midnight, sometimes my best friend would help before we’d head out to Perkins. And because we’re dorks, I’d ask him to wrangle out the door for me.

Grade: A-

Other Kevin Smith Movies You May Have Seen

Jersey Girl
Zack and Miri Make a Porno
Cop Out
Red State

Martin Brest

Despite directing some pretty successful movies, Martin Brest has had a relatively small career, directing only six movies. His last movie, Gigli (2003) is considered one of the worst movies ever, but it was reportedly butchered by the studios (who forced it to be a rom-com), so how much blame Martin deserves is questionable. From the rest of his movies, he seems to be a competent director who has difficulty making cuts as they tend to run on the long side.

Meet Joe Black: A remake of sorts of the 1934 movie Death Takes A Holiday, where Death (Brad Pitt) strikes a deal with a multi-millionaire (Anthony Hopkins); the millionaire can live a little longer if he gives Death a tour of mortal pleasures (one of those being Claire Forlani). Well-acted, and a somewhat intriguing premise, but at three hours is about ninety minutes too long. My most significant memory of this movie is how bad I had to pee when it was over. At least I felt it was good enough to stay in the theater until it was over.

Grade: C+

Beverly Hills Cop: Eddie Murphy at his best in a only slightly dated comedy about a rogue Detroit cop solving crime in Beverly Hills. Judge Reinhold is fun and Bronson Pinchot’s cameo is fantastic.

Grade: B 

Scent of a Woman: Al Pacino, a blind former colonel, takes a desperate-for-cash college student (Chris O’Donnell, who thought he’d just be babysitting an old person) to New York City for one crazy weekend filled with many antics and some predictable moral lessons. Pacino won an Oscar for his performance. He was electrifying for sure, a bit of a caricature, but still entertaining.

Grade: B+

Other Martin Brest Films You May Have Seen

Going In Style
Midnight Run
Gigli