Best Non-Boss Enemies (NES) #10-#7

Game designers usually pull out all the stops when creating the next big bad boss. But not enough credit is given when a truly awe-inspiring regular comes into the fray, for better or for worse.   Goomba was the first of these baddies most of us encountered.  The following may not be the hardest non-boss enemies you’ll ever meet, but they are ten that have won a soft place in our hearts.

#10  METROID  (Metroid)

Just when you thought getting rid of your ice gun for the wave beam was a radical idea, along comes the title character, who apparently sustains its life force by sucking yours through your spacesuit. With a hull rivaling that of a Klingon Bird of Prey, it takes five missiles to off this parasite. But in a miraculous display of inefficient natural selection, it can be frozen solid (albeit for only a few seconds) with a spray of ice water. Without it, getting past the metroids is tougher than Mother Brain herself.

#9  THE DRAGON  (Shadowgate)

I was never as frightened by him as the narrator insisted I was (FEAR GRIPS YOU AS YOU ENTER THIS HOT ROOM!!), but I had to hand it to the dragon. Hiding in the darkness, he practically begged novice adventurers to steal his booty. So much as flinch and a wave of flames engulfed the room. He was the only character that couldn’t be defeated, and even the shield was only strong enough to withstand a few fiery gusts. Whenever I got stuck in Shadowgate, I’d always come back to this room, persistent in a plan to off the beast. I bow to thee, fine dragon.

#8  THE MOUTHS  (Willow)

The land where Willow resides is certainly strange and magical, so believe me I was psyched when I came across a plantation of footballs! Running through the field proved fatal, and a valuable lesson was learned; the land of Willow has no room for secular pleasures, something I should have learned earlier after putting the moves on Sorsha and getting bitch-slapped. Who knew that transforming into a slimey monster was the only way to have some fun?

#7  MEN CARRYING GLASS  (Back to the Future)

Just like the movie, Marty is constantly tormented by crazy civillians, hula hoopin’ broads, and swarms of bees. But these two men are innocently doing synchronized mime in the middle of the street.  Watch out for that oil slick fellas!  Apparently, they don’t seem to appreciate my attempt to run through their dance and throw them off beat.

Tune in tomorrow for the next installment!

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