Synopsis:  Daimon Bok of the Ferengi wants to give Picard his old ship, the Stargazer, as a gift.  Yeeeeah.  Riiiiight.

Memory Alpha Summary:  All ears

Review:  If you didn’t hate Wesley before this episode, you do now.  But we’ll get back to that.

After Picard gets a headache, Dr. Crusher preaches some more about how headaches and the common cold are pussified problems for 20^th century folk.  I’m also noticing that Picard has a terrible habit of finishing everyone’s sentences in season one.  While he’s always right, it’s a demeaning, controlling habit employed by a lot of supervisors and it’s beginning to annoy me.

All right, back to Wesley.  First off, he tells everyone that he was “playing around with the sensors” as if he has any business doing so in the first place.  More disturbingly, how in the hell does he have access?  But the true tragedy comes when it is established that the entire crew, despite knowing that the Ferengi are conniving assholes, cannot complete the simplest of investigations as to what’s going wrong with Picard.  Wesley “glances” at the brain scans of Picard, recognizing them as looking similar to transmissions that are coming from the Ferengi ship.  The doctor couldn’t figure this out.  The freaking super-smart android couldn’t figure this out.  No, Wesley saves the day, then cements his reputation with “Heh, adults.”  Congratulations Roddenberry, you just ruined one of your characters.

Stewart does his best, acting the part of a man hallucinating past memories.  And Riker has a pretty awesome conversation with Bok’s first officer.   But this plot is threadbare to begin with.  At least this episode gave us “The Picard Maneuver,” something Beverly sadly never gets to see in private.