This time we had to write a 59 word story about a jerk.  I went as literal as I could possibly get.  I was contestant #1 this week.

THEJERK attacks!  STUDJAKE loses 18 hit points.

STUDJAKE: Dude, WTF?!?

JAKESGIRL♥ casts cure!  STUDJAKEregains 18 hit points.

THEJERK: You assigned me.

STUDJAKE: Not to kill me!

THEJERK: …

JAKESGIRL♥: Remember, he becomes a Paladin at level 20.

STUDJAKE: Why are you defending him?

JAKESGIRL♥: Um, Jake?

JAKESGIRL♥ looks down, rubs her belly.

JAKESGIRL♥: There’s something you should know…

MATTHEW: Oh, such jerks! It’s nice that the Jerk in story 1 was labeled thus. Otherwise, I might think JAKESGIRLHEART was the jerk here in that she was feigning pregnancy in order to maintain a relationship with STUDJAKE. But the real reason he’s a JERK is even more jerky. And hey, I love pizza like any other human with a soul, but I can’t see leftover pizza being the cause of such strife. Fresh pizza, sure. WINNER: #1

Novak – These are both very fun.  #1 is a very creative approach, which I want toreward greatly.  #2 is a highly effective bait’n’switch.  This time, creativity wins out for me.  #1 wins.

ANDY: Great idea, #1, and it’s well executed to boot. That’s right… to boot. You’ve found a fellow nerd in this judge, and that helps. As for #2, sometimes these “twist in the end” joke stories work really well, sometimes they fall a bit flat. Sorry, #2, but this one falls closer to the latter for me. A more subtle reveal may have worked better. Winner: #1.

Result vs. Erik Dikken: WIN (3-0)

Current Record: 2-3

Next Match-Up: Zack Sauvageau (0-5)

I originally wanted the joke of my story to be that Jake was playing an RPG, had named the female love interest MYJENNY (presumably after someone he liked in real life), and that he was distraught when a video game jerk stole his video game girl by coincidence of the game’s script.  However, that would have needed more words and still may have been confusing.  So I went with a plausible conversation during a D&D or MMORPG game.  It’s not my best work, but it’s as polished as I could make it.