Our challenge was to create a book jacket for either the Sears Catalog, the Dictionary, or The Bible.  I tackled the dictionary.  In doing so, I also tackled Noah Webster, who was religiously conservative (especially later in life) and felt education was worthless without Christianity.

 Chris·ti·an·i·ty /ˌkrɪstʃiˈænɪti/ [kris-chee-an-uh-tee] –noun, plural –ties.
1. The most important word in this book.
2. What makes America and all other potential nations great.
3. The religion.

Inside An American Dictionary of the English Language you will find thirteen additional definitions for the above word, not to mention scores of inspirational terms and phrases grounded in the Scripture. Do you confuse important words like Ark with arc? Have you ever wanted to learn how to properly use “pestilence” during witnessing? Or do you simply forget how to spell Ecclesiastics? Well, look no further as Noah Webster has provided a guide to answer all these questions (and more!) that regularly haunt heretical young minds.

More original than the work of Joseph Emerson Worcester and more righteous than that secular book by Samuel Johnson, Noah Webster is a beacon of light for all sheep who long to develop their spirit along with their language. So open up and immerse yourself in the words* first breathed out by God.

*Also included: newer words!

Worcester and Johnson also published dictionaries if it wasn’t obvious already.

Other than the asterisk joke at the end, I’m not a big fan of this.  The tone is a bit obvious and the jokes not biting enough.  Still, I’m not embarrassed by it.  I neither received a score nor a critique from the judges, but needless to say I did not win immunity that week.

I won’t be creating a Survivor page for season six as not all of the challenges would translate well (e.g. caption contest) to this blog.   But now would seem the appropriate time to post the two other 59-word stories I have done in the past.   The first was completed for season six, and the other I did while as a judge, just for fun.

Arthur was a rock.

Metaphorically? No, Arthur was a pussy. The other rocks said so. He strove to rise above the label. But it was no use.

Tuesday, a man took Arthur. Soon, he adorned a lady’s finger. For the next fifty years, Arthur would hone his sense of irony, helping one man gain what he hoped to lose.

And…

One day, a young black man with a checkered past decided to conquer his demons. Taking two steps forward, he began his journey on the straight and narrow. Sadly, his path was frequently blocked by his white peers. But with support from his extended family, he marched on. Suddenly, from the corner of his eye, he found salvation. Checkmate.

Spooky judged both and wound giving me a score of 4 on both.  So that now makes me four for four on scores of four.  Wherefore?  I want more!

Ahem.

The second one is clever but more or less a huge groaner.  I’m still quite proud of the first one.

My name is Beau.

This will not be a journal.

This will be a place where I write lots of stuff.  Posts will be daily, or close.  Tune in for Survivor Results tomorrow.

If you read anything vulgar, blame my mom and dad.

Munch.  Munch.