Genre: Hockey

Developer: Pax Softnica; Nintendo
Publisher: Nintendo
Year: 1988

Basic Idea:  Play in a sandlot league that has some anorexic and morbidly obese members.

Review: Nearly everyone who has played the NES has played this game, as its easily accessible and pretty hilarious.  I feel it’s overrated, but still the second best hockey title for the system.  For those uninitiated, the game is pretty basic hockey with decent play-control.  The hilarious part is that you get to select the weight of your players.  The skinny guys are extremely fast but fragile and weak shooters.  The fat guys are powerful, but move like turtles.  The medium guys are somewhere in between, naturally.  There actually is a strategy in picking your team, so it does provide some variety.  It’s also tempting to try to pick a fight, as a bench-clearing brawl might happen.

Not exactly great hockey, and very boring against the computer, but it’s a pretty fun game against a human opponent.

Genre: Platform Adventure

Developer: Nihon Falcom
Publisher: Nihon Falcom
Year: 1987

Basic Idea:  Guide a family (including their pet) through a sprawling dungeon in order to get a big sword and kill the dragon.

Review: A fascinating role-playing game that requires an immense amount of playing and patience to succeed with.  The awesome part of the game is that there are four distinct areas of the dungeon, and only one family member is capable of getting through each one.  As each has different abilities (magic, high jumping, block-cutting, invincibility) the game has plenty of variety.  And if you get stuck with one section, you can trade places and work on another.  There are shops where one can restore energy or purchase upgrades.  The music and graphics aren’t great, but they aren’t terrible either.

What is frustrating about the game is the occasionally difficult play-control and unpredictable enemies. It’s nothing that is a deal-breaker, but when you’re trying to figure out how to advance to the next section, dealing with these frustrations can inhibit enjoyment.

Probably not worthy of a play today as the game’s rewards are not great enough to offset its length. But looking back it’s a fairly solid NES title, and even more impressive considering the year it was released.

Genre: Racing/Shooter

Developer: Rare
Publisher: Nintendo
Year: 1989

Basic Idea:  Pilot a loaded for bear speedboat to save some people or something.

Review: Another unique idea from Rare, Cobra Triangle is easy to learn but hard to master.  Each level is short and may involve racing, mine disposal, enemy attacking, guarding swimmers, or jumping waterfalls.  The design is straightforward but succinct and colorful.  The game would most certainly rank higher, but the difficulty is not gradual and downright maddening at times.  Guarding the swimmers is extraordinarily difficult and can lead to controller-throwing, power-buttoning frustration.

Definitely worth a play or two.  I would have likely found this more satisfying had I owned it as a kid and had the time to master some of the insanity.

Genre: Racing

Developer: Leland
Publisher: Tradewest
Year: 1991

Basic Idea:  Run tiny little cars around and around…

Review: There were six games for the NES that were based on professional racing, five of them sponsored by a particular racer.  Nigel Mansell, Michael Andretti, and Al Unser Jr. put their names on awful games. Ivan Stewart’s Super Off-Road was fun in the arcade but kind of meh on the NES.  And Days of Thunder was as bad as the movie it was based on.  This little gem, however, has almost no resemblance to actual racing but is easily the best of the six.  While you do need to make pit stops, the game plays more like Super Off-Road with way better controls.  The perspective is bird’s eye view, or perhaps a plane’s eye view, as the cars are itty bitty.

Between each race you can improve your car with the money you’ve won.  The first time through the game is pretty easy, but the difficulty ramps up after that.  There’s also a two-player option, which I haven’t played but I imagine would be pretty fun.

Genre: Shooter

Developer: Natsume; Dynamic Planning; ITL
Publisher: Milton Bradley
Year: 1989

Basic Idea:  Memorize more crazy enemy patterns before fighting the easiest bosses in shooter history.

Review:  This space shooter ain’t much easier than Gradius, requiring significant amount of pattern memorization.  However, it has my favorite power-up of any shooter I’ve played on the NES: homing missiles!  When you acquire this power-up, you can shoot like crazy while focusing on avoiding enemies.  Unfortunately, if you get killed, you usually have to start from the beginning of the level, which is all kinds of cruel.

As mentioned, the bosses are insanely easy.  They’re quite powerful, but for the first five bosses, you can find a safe zone where you can’t be hit and fire away.  Even the final boss isn’t that difficult after you learn the strategy.  At least the part that comes after the final boss is pretty sweet (and appropriately difficult).

Genre: Soccer

Developer: Technos
Publisher: Nintendo
Year: 1990

Basic Idea:  Play soccer with the guys from River City Ransom.

Review: I think every game Technos made had the same cartoonish blocky guys, sports or otherwise.  Somehow, it always seems to work to a degree.  This game was made for the 4 player-adapter, though I never played it that way.  It’s basically arcade fun, with the ability to play on different surfaces (stone and ice, e.g.) and hurt other players so badly that they’ll be removed the game, giving you an advantage.  There’s also diving headers and bicycle kicks!

If you’re going to go silly, you have to go all the way, and Technos did that while still providing reasonable enough control to make play smooth.  Nintendo World Cup did for soccer on the NES what Arch Rivals and Base Wars could not for their respective sports.

Genre: Shooter

Developer: Konami
Publisher: Konami
Year: 1988

Basic Idea:  Save P.O.W.’s with your Jeep and copter them off to safety.  And, if you have time, win the war singlehandedly.

Review: Of the ground based shooters for the NES, this one ranks the highest for me.  It’s a touch above Guerrilla War for a couple of reasons.  First, saving the good guys is significantly more fun.  They’re not just sitting out in the street waiting to be accidentally shot.  They’re usually in bunkers or storage facilities that you need to open.  Also, you need to then bring them to a helicopter and wait while they board, leaving yourself vulnerable if you haven’t cleared the area.  Again, it’s for nothing other than points, but it definitely feels more satisfying.

The second reason is that the fighting seems a bit more calculated, not just guns a blazin’.  You can strafe with the machine gun, something not often seen with NES games.  And there’s less going on in each level, so stealth is rewarded a bit more heavily.

Still, the game is pretty generic with okay, but not great, graphics and music.  If you love war shooters and have a buddy, this is probably your best bet.

Genre: Shooter

Developer: Konami
Publisher: Konami
Year: 1986

Basic Idea:  Upgrade your weapons just in time to die.  Ha ha, just kidding.  You don’t even have time for that.

Review: The game that a generation of great shooters were based off of, Gradius is a beautiful shooter that has a great soundtrack, fun enemies, and an innovative weapon system that allows you to upgrade to kickassery.  Unfortunately, the game is so insanely difficult (with three lives and no continues, no less) that it loses its fun pretty quick unless you’re the type to wear out your thumbs and your brain trying.

I had difficulty rating games that I felt were awesome with a game genie, but closed off to those with limited hand-eye coordination (and patience).  I think I’m okay with this spot, considering I’m not a great fan of shooters to begin with.

Genre: Skateboarding

Developer: Electronic Arts
Publisher: Ultra
Year: 1988

Basic Idea:  Skate and die.

Review: I admit the nostalgia for this game is higher than its actual quality.  The controls are counterintuitive, but when you’re young, you get used to them.  At least enough to enjoy the game, especially while competing with a friend.  I loved the downhill events, and the joust was decent as well.  And at least when you’re with a buddy, someone gets enjoyment out of you crashing into a fence.

The sequel has a laughable, hammy action/adventure game that is horribly designed and almost unplayable.  But there’s a half-pipe game that is pretty damn awesome.  The controls here are intuitive, and it’s existence helps propel this game into the countdown.  Cheating perhaps, but I’ll often play both games at the same time.

As an aside, the Gameboy game, Bad ‘n Rad, is insanely difficult.  It’s an action game that has some wonderful elements but is just too damn hard to really stick with.

Genre: Shooter

Developer: SNK
Publisher: SNK
Year: 1988

Basic Idea:  Topple Fidel Castro’s regime with two invincible Rambos

Review: When Ikari Warriors was released on the NES, I was rather excited, as I played the arcade and PC versions and loved them.  That the NES port was brutal would be sadder if SNK hadn’t redeemed themselves with a much superior follow-up.  Guerrilla War is fast, it’s frantic, and the easiest shooter you’ll ever play.  You die if you get hit, but continues are infinite and from where you left off.  Most importantly, there’s no way to get stuck and have to reset the game.  Weapons are unlimited and powerful.  The only thing stopping you from obliterating everything are hostages, but even if you kill them all, the only consequences is that you’ll have fewer points.

I would have preferred the game have some semblance of challenge, or at least a more substantial reward for saving hostages.  As it stands, its worth lies more in playing it with a buddy.