Survivor Archives: Book Jacket

Our challenge was to create a book jacket for either the Sears Catalog, the Dictionary, or The Bible.  I tackled the dictionary.  In doing so, I also tackled Noah Webster, who was religiously conservative (especially later in life) and felt education was worthless without Christianity.

 Chris·ti·an·i·ty /ˌkrɪstʃiˈænɪti/ [kris-chee-an-uh-tee] –noun, plural –ties.
1. The most important word in this book.
2. What makes America and all other potential nations great.
3. The religion.

Inside An American Dictionary of the English Language you will find thirteen additional definitions for the above word, not to mention scores of inspirational terms and phrases grounded in the Scripture. Do you confuse important words like Ark with arc? Have you ever wanted to learn how to properly use “pestilence” during witnessing? Or do you simply forget how to spell Ecclesiastics? Well, look no further as Noah Webster has provided a guide to answer all these questions (and more!) that regularly haunt heretical young minds.

More original than the work of Joseph Emerson Worcester and more righteous than that secular book by Samuel Johnson, Noah Webster is a beacon of light for all sheep who long to develop their spirit along with their language. So open up and immerse yourself in the words* first breathed out by God.

*Also included: newer words!

Worcester and Johnson also published dictionaries if it wasn’t obvious already.

Other than the asterisk joke at the end, I’m not a big fan of this.  The tone is a bit obvious and the jokes not biting enough.  Still, I’m not embarrassed by it.  I neither received a score nor a critique from the judges, but needless to say I did not win immunity that week.

3 thoughts on “Survivor Archives: Book Jacket”

  1. Ah yes, the great .jpg wars of Survivor VI, I remember them well.

    I liked this challenge when we did it (I focused mostly on the dictionary, wrote a quick one for the Bible, and ignored the Sears catalog). Describing the dictionary just appeals to the absurd side of my humor apparently.

    1. which quickly led to a ban on all .jpg

      I would love photoshop contests in the non-writing Survivor, but it clearly put the rest of us who weren’t so skilled with Adobe at a disadvantage.

      1. It was a pain for the judges, too, to know who was doing every challenge.

        Still, it was all worth it for “February is black history month.”

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