Category Archives: Personal

50 Reasons Why I Love My Wife

  1. When she smiles her eyes sparkle and I feel all mushy inside.
  2. She’s quick to point out when I have something on my face…like 10 seconds into our first date.
  3. Whenever Joseph Gordon Levitt appears on a screen she turns into goo.
  4. Her wedding vows included references to Star Trek, Back to the Future, Corner Gas, and other similar awesomeness.
  5. Yeah, I got her to watch The Next Generation AND she loved it.
  6. I can sometimes fix a bad mood by cooking the right meal.
  7. Her exceptional creativity has improved the quality of presents I give to my own family. And the wrapping too!
  8. She didn’t say “You did this to me!” in the birthing room.
  9. She went on a road trip with me even though she doesn’t like road trips.
  10. Her favorite number is 17. My favorite number is 17. This was true before we met, on the 17th. She wanted to get married on the 17th, and didn’t mind making everyone take off a random Tuesday to make it happen. On 7/17/17, we’ll have been together 7 years. Can’t wait.
  11. She made me watch This is Spinal Tap.
  12. Speaking of meeting, she was cool when she found out I went on another date three hours after I met her. And when we ran into that person three weeks later.
  13. She financially supported me while I finished up grad school. Times would have been rough without her and I may have taken a job I didn’t like just to meet the bills. I wound up finding the best job I’ve ever had.
  14. Her support and good humor inspired me to try my hand at standup comedy for one night.
  15. Valuing experiences over stuff has helped me enjoy life more and keep the house clean.
  16. She makes my dad cookies or brownies every time he comes over. And she makes fun of him a lot.
  17. Her gentle  snoring helps me fall asleep better than any music can.
  18. She talked me into jumping out of a plane. That was amazing.
  19. She talked me into going on a cruise. That was amazing.
  20. She talked me into having a baby. That was pretty amazing too.
  21. Watching her grow into being a mother has been incredible. I learn from her resiliency, her patience, her thoughtfulness.
  22. She finds the best deals on kids clothes and toys.
  23. She drops copious hints throughout the year to make her birthday much easier.
  24. At least two or three times per week she makes me unexpectedly laugh out loud.
  25. One day our son was accosted by a paranoid alcoholic neighbor for no good reason. Not only did she confront the lady and defend our family’s honor, the lady felt so bad she gave my son a stuffed animal.
  26. On my 30th birthday she sent me all around town on a massive treasure hunt to find my birthday present.
  27. She was the first girl who said “I love you” before I did.
  28. I have become more comfortable with negative emotions thanks to her patience.
  29. Two days after she moved in with me the basement flooded and she spent the weekend bailing and ripping up carpet without a single complaint.
  30. The cat litter.
  31. Occasionally she’s the outer spoon.
  32. She gave me the best mother-in-law one could ask for.
  33. Every promotion I’ve been hesitant to apply for she has pushed me towards.
  34. She took time off from work to care for our son. He’s kind and polite and smart and (mostly) calm so I know she was great at her job.
  35. Whenever we cook together the meal tastes better.
  36. She considers my family her family.
  37. When my family visits they now have an extra clean house to enjoy.
  38. We’ve spent several nights playing Streets of Rage.
  39. She believes in not going to bed angry and for the most part I think we’ve done well.
  40. None of our money goes to jewelry or perfume or fancy clothes.
  41. Sometimes when I leave a slice of pie in the fridge it’s still there when I get home.
  42. Even though I steal the covers and sound like a freight train she still wants to sleep next to me.
  43. When I do something stupid that costs us a lot of money like getting a parking ticket or forgetting to engage the emergency brake, she mostly just laughs it off.
  44. Sometimes she pretends to like baseball. Sometimes I pretend to like Grey’s Anatomy. We work well together.
  45. She still looks sexy in jeans and a sweatshirt. Yes, yes, you do.
  46. We can be gross together.
  47. She writes beautifully. While I can create a good story, I am jealous of her ability to write prose and atmosphere.
  48. She was totally okay with me proposing to her inside a story during an online writing competition.
  49. She cares about my health without nagging me.
  50. In ten, twenty, thirty, sixty years, I know she will still be by my side supporting me in whatever I do.

51. She reads my blog.

Top 50 Reasons Why I Love My Father

1. Mets 3, Astros 0

2. When I was twelve, I wanted a place to store all my stuff so he built me a full-wall shelving unit.

3. His help every time I moved.

4. And every time I locked myself out of my car or my home.

5. He made me join an extracurricular activity in 10th grade and suggested the debate team. I can point back to the debate team for a lot of the great things in my life.

6. Teaching me in the absolute quickest way how to ride a bicycle.

7. Saving my life when the garage door attacked me.

8. Being with me in the whirlpool at the hospital while I screamed my bloody head off.

9. Being my den leader as long as he could take it, and allowing me to quit Cub Scouts.

10. Allowing me to quit Babe Ruth because of an awful coach but making me call the coach myself to do so.

11. Playing hours of R.B.I. Baseball and Baseball Simulator 1.000 with me despite losing most of the time.

12. He never allowed me to win at ping-pong or much of anything unless I earned it. It forced me to get better and make the victories all more enjoyable.

13. Giving us a chance to go to Disney World and allowing us to go fishing instead.

14. Spending many a weekend morning playing Police Quest 3 with me.

15. Teaching me how to play cribbage.

16. Paying me $500 to not watch television for a year.

17. I once gambled with money I didn’t have. It was only about ten or fifteen dollars, but he paid off my debt and made me work it off quickly. It was all part of a lesson to not spend money I don’t have, and to this day I have never once had an interest payment on a credit card.

18. Helping me get through college.

19. When I finally gathered the nerve to break up with an abusive girlfriend, he didn’t say “I told you so,” and solaced me even though I’m sure on the inside he was doing jumping jacks.

20. Coaching my house basketball team to an overtime playoff victory over a bunch of ringers despite not knowing anything about basketball except how many fouls our star player really had.

21. He never pushed me into any career.

22. Giving me many chances to be with his mother in the last years of her life.

23. Being fucking hilarious.

24. He tells amazing stories, even though they get more grandiose with each telling.

25. He spent a long time finishing the basement, telling us that he didn’t know exactly what he was going to turn it into. One day, he had us get haircuts, and we may have gone to play some miniature golf as well. When we got back home, a pool table was waiting for us.

26. He would “take us out to dinner” in Minneapolis only to find out we were going to a Twins game.

27. Sunday morning bowling.

28. He kept me calm during my first charlie horse, which is scary as hell if you’ve never had one.

29. Finding out where every hidden door was in The Legend of Zelda, one blue candle at a time.

30. Having a grown-up conversation with me about the divorce.

31. He made all my friends feel welcome in my home, made them laugh, took them out to dinner, took them bowling, etc.

32. Scolding me when I bragged to all my friends how rich he was (he wasn’t, and isn’t), teaching me a bit about humility and politeness.

33. Being honest about all the times he fucked up as an adult in order to help me make some well-informed decisions.

34. Getting us out of the house during the fire

35. Allowing me to keep my one-thousand dollars on a silly teenage bet he knew I’d never win.

36. Playing doubles tennis with us on a regular basis, and allowing us to chase him all over the court with corner shots.

37. Always being there when I needed someone to talk to.

38. Placing time limits on video games so we’d go outside.

39. Putting a basketball hoop on the garage and being okay with us constantly denting the garage (and his truck).

40. Hiring me for a summer for work he really didn’t need to hire anyone for.

41. Flirting with waitresses when I was a kid so I’d get extra whipped cream in my vanilla malts.

42. Forgiving me for forging his signature (to avoid detention) after finding out twenty years later.

43. And while we’re at it, forgiving me for selling the lawn mower he supposedly loaned me rather than gave to me.

44. Getting along with my step-dad.

45. Taking me on one of the most memorable nights from my childhood, being part of a group of six that caught over 120 ten-inch bluegill in just a couple hours.  And then letting me eat them.

46. Lots o’ golf.

47. Being openly affectionate with Mom while I was growing up.

48. Raising me with a sense of right and wrong that is mostly about respect for all people. I can remember more than once I showed disrespect to another kid, and even when he agreed they were jackasses, still made me apologize and encouraged me not to stoop to their level.

49. For not only not giving up after his heart attack, but working his ass off for himself and his family.

50. And finally, for being an awesome grandfather, during bath time and otherwise.

Top 50 Reasons Why I Love My Mother

From the outset I didn’t plan on writing anything real personal on this site.  You know, don’t want it to be one of those blogs.  But a list was requested, and I have to try to honor that.  Or at least half of it.

1.  She worked graveyard shift so she could be with me during the day.

2.  She subscribed me to awesome magazines like Electric Company and Games.

3.  She made Christmas exciting by telling us she wasn’t able to buy us certain video games because they were out of stock but they’d magically end up under the tree.

4.  One time I cried because I couldn’t figure out how to cut up my fish and she did it for me.

5.  She remembered I wanted the book Ready, Okay! and found it for me before it was simple to get everything on-line.

6.  She made me crack up several times during my own wedding.

7.  For two semesters in grad school I slept over Friday nights and she always had six pieces of pizza waiting for me.

8.  I almost always got an Icee at K-Mart whenever we’d go there.

9.  She volunteered at my elementary school, teaching kids how to use the Apple II.

10.  She also made a piñata for a Valentine’s party at my school.

11.  She told me I could pursue any career I wanted and meant it.

12.  She found me an opportunity at her place of work to get my volunteer hours in for high school.

13.  When I no longer wanted to go to church there was no argument.

14.  I always got a hug whenever I wanted one (and still do!).

15.  She gave me some of her beautiful artwork to hang in my home.

16.  I got to go to the local swimming pool a lot.

17.  My friends were almost always allowed to come over, and sleep over, for days at a time.

18.  She was honest about the mistakes she made growing up, and never shied away from the topics of drugs and sex.

19.  She came to my baseball games whenever she could.

20.  She would help proofread my papers at the last minute.

21.  I was allowed to play music she didn’t like, including my own singing voice.

22.  She never worried if we wore out the grass in the yard.

23.  Scrabble

24.  Every time we went to Circus Circus

25.  I was her playing partner for Police Quest II.  When I got antsy because Dad and Ryan were making more progress, she allowed me to join them.

26.  On road trips she’d play the alphabet game.

27.  She spent hours messing with DOS and our computer speakers trying to get me voice while playing Police Quest III.  As it turned out, the game had no voice acting.  But still.

28.  She didn’t allow me to play Leisure Suit Larry V until I was older.  I always thought it was because of the adult content; as it turns out, the game is so bad I may have been permanently damaged.

29.  I got help raking leaves after buying my first house and I was taught how to make awesome pumpkin carvings.

30. She allows herself to be pranked or made fun of.

31.  She introduced me to people with mental health and DD issues as a child.

32.  Peggy’s Practical Workout.

33.  We were at a video store once and I accidentally shoplifted a ring pop.  I told her in the parking lot, but she figured since we had to wait in line for twenty minutes, we didn’t have to go back.

34.  She managed to never kill me while driving.

35.  One time at a neighbor’s house, one of the kids had a marble slide set.  I commented how cool I thought it was, and I got it for my birthday that year.

36.  I was allowed to be messy.

37.  Many head-to-head competitions in darts, ping-pong, and pinball and she didn’t let me win.

38.  She watched Basic Instinct with me when I was 11 and didn’t tease me too much for running out of the room during all the good parts.

39.  When she asks me to help her get past a certain part in a Zelda game.

40.  Cleaning up after me every time I vomited and got nowhere near the toilet.

41.  Indulging my philosophical discussions as a naive teenager.

42.  Indulging my obsession with invisible pen puzzle books.

43.  Scolding me when I broke other’s people things and couldn’t care less.

44.  Not having me committed when I had a scary predilection towards scissors and knives.

45.  She never made me feel guilty over trivial things, like my propensity to get undressed in public places (and no, this isn’t a recent thing).

46.  Forgiving me for forgetting Mother’s Day a couple times.

47.  Finding a wonderful partner to be with who is also a great grandpa.

48.  Sticking with my dad through the rough times and helping him be a better person.

49.  Instilling values in me to be tolerant, forgiving, and curious of others.

50.  Helping me turn into a happy adult.

Love you, Mom.