Synopsis: Data has a child without sin, though this one dies sooner than Jesus.

Memory Alpha Summary:  Also, Data makes a Mondrian, which is slightly less impressive than making a positronic brain.

Review:  This episode had to happen, and I’m glad it did.  Watching Data learn the ins and outs of parenting is a sight to see, and Spiner knocks it out of the park.  What didn’t need to happen was a retread of the whole ‘Does Data have rights?’ plot from just last season.  I find it hard to believe that after a court ruling made just a year ago that essentially awarded Data all the rights of other life forms that he’d have to fight for them again, but I guess making the Starfleet top brass a bunch of insufferable jerks provides upward conflict for Picard and Co.

I’m also a bit bothered by the notion that Lal has to choose from one of two sexes.  Not only do many organisms have something other than two sexes, but gender qualities are completely ignored.  Then Troi counsels her that the look she chooses will affect how people relate to her and then practically pushes her to select a visually attractive human.  I’m not saying I wouldn’t do the same thing in her shoes, but it spits in the face of the “we’re above 20^th century superficiality” we had beat into us in season one.

Finally, for the one and only time I’m going to talk about Data’s inability to use contractions.  It’s stupid.  Next season, Data can integrate lying into his program because it’s necessary for him to do so.  But he can’t make a fucking contraction.  Lal being able to do so should not be a major accomplishment.

On a brighter note, Riker accidentally hitting on Data’s daughter is priceless.

Synopsis:  Wesley takes the Starfleet exam, while Starfleet is on the Enterprise, interrogating everyone to try to see if Picard is unfit to lead.

Memory Alpha Summary:  Also, more kids get access to key systems.

Review:  I find it hilarious that they criticize Picard for bringing the Edo girl up to see her God but fail to criticize him for landing on the planet in the first place (also, is it insightful or embarrassing that the show is more or less criticizing itself so early in the series?).  The interrogation subplot, though, is mainly Remmick being as over-the-top as possible in his snide treatment of the crew, which is more laughable than intimidating.  However, it does a decent job setting up some dramatics for the end of season one.

Meanwhile, Wesley is given even more terrible lines as he’s made out to be a self-important, pouty douchebag as he passive-aggressively plays down his talents and then pouts when he loses.  One of the girls tells Wesley that if he weren’t so cute he’d be obnoxious.  Ha!  Afterwards, Wes tells Picard “I failed you and I failed the Enterprise.”  It takes all Picard can do to not slap the boy, but he does what he usually does, and tells him in a very polite, reaffirming way to man up.  You know, despite what he said at Farpoint, Picard seems to handle children pretty damn well.

I have to say I love the Starfleet exam. Wesley has to perform two tests that are spontaneous and not even acknowledged as part of the test.  What bugs me, though, is that they predetermine before the exam begins that only one out of four students will pass the exam, even if they are all qualified.  This doesn’t make sense.  Starfleet would seem to need an indefinite supply of members, as it’s the only military outfit in the Federation.  I understand wanting high standards, but they should be competing against a baseline, not each other.

This episode may be higher on the list for being significantly better than most everything else in season one, though it’s certainly watchable.  But how do kids on the Enterprise keep getting access to key systems?

Synopsis: Barclay’s fantasies come true, even the gross ones.

Memory Alpha Summary: No word if he can beat Data Troi at chess.

Review:  Barclay’s transformation into a supremely intelligent being is quite fun to watch as Schultz is an awesome actor.  His arguments with the computer (because the computer isn’t smart enough) are great science-fiction.  I was also impressed with Troi for turning down Barclay’s romancing in a professional manner…and then later she says “fuck ethics” and goes on a date with him anyway.  Ugh.

The other thing that bothers me is that Barclay shows at the end, despite the return of his IQ to normal, that he has retained grandmaster chess intelligence.  If he can retain memories from his time as the supreme being, why can’t he remember how to make the Enterprise travel beyond warp?  Even if it can be explained, I am further annoyed by the fact that none of the amazing science the Enterprise takes back with them is ever mentioned again.

Synopsis:  Data loses to Troi at chess, and believe it or not that’s not the thing that makes the least amount of sense.

Memory Alpha Summary:  Seriously.  Troi beat Data at chess.  Fuck.

Review:  So the entire crew is stunned and their memories (but not their skills) are wiped.  But when they wake up, there’s a mysterious new person on board that only the audience knows doesn’t belong there.  This could have been a top 20 episode.  But the writers just fuck it up completely.

1.  Crusher, despite scanning this guy and doing a major medical procedure on his brain, never figures out he’s an alien.  Possible, but unlikely
2.  If this alien society can emulate other species, why does it bother to steal the  Enterprise?  It’s explained that one photon torpedo would have won their war, but  why couldn’t they just infiltrate their enemies as spies and do some sabotage?
3.  Why does this particular invader make himself second in command instead of first?  It’s never explained and makes no sense.  If one photon torpedo wins your wars, make yourself captain (and give yourself five pips), or I don’t know, maybe the tactical officer.
4. Finally, despite the above mistake, why doesn’t the bad guy discretely walk up to tactical and fire a torpedo, rather than make a scene of himself and try to bum rush the tactical station?  He was relatively calm up until this point, even when things weren’t going his way.

The best part of the episode is hands down the fact that Riker and Ro get it on, multiple times, and then have to face each other when their memories are restored.  Not only that, but Troi rubs his whorish behavior completely in his face.  It’s sad that this never gets revisited, but that’s how it goes with TNG.

Synopsis: For the first time since Wesley left, some kids get to save the Enterprise.

Memory Alpha Summary:  Of course, they save it from aliens who have the intellectual capacity of children.

Review:  Picard who was born in France, has a very, very heavy British accent when he’s turned back into a boy.  Awesome.  Anyway, I felt whoever was in charge of casting did a bang-up job (grabbing Picard’s nephew from Family was kind of an obvious choice).  While the kid who plays Picard isn’t perfect, trying to match the world-class acting of Stewart is a very tall order.  “I believe you’re in my chair” is delivered perfectly, as is “and be Wesley Crusher’s roommate?”  Also, the “I want to see my father” speech gets me every time**.  The girls who play Guinan and Ro also nail their performances.  I really believe these are the younger versions of these characters.  Keiko’s not as good as the others, but O’Brien’s scene with her and Molly is spot on as well.  Sadly, this is the last time we see him on the Enterprise; he doesn’t get a farewell episode.

We’ve had two episodes so far where characters get super old then revert back to normal, so I’m cool with one that does the opposite, no matter how scientifically impossible it may be.  I mean, the brain is not fully developed until the age of 25, so the fact that the characters retain their personalities 100% rings false.

Of course, the Ferengi taking over the Enterprise, even with the help of Klingon Birds of Prey, is probably a little much to swallow.  At least it sets up a good scene where Riker uses fake technobabble to confuse them.

A lot of people hate this episode.  I don’t think it’s great by any means, but for me it’s solidly average.

**I’m sure my brother would like everyone to know that he role-played this scene once and severely hurt his neck while doing so.

Synopsis: Everybody hates Ensign Ro until Guinan tells them not to.

Memory Alpha Summary:  This is also the introduction of Mot, the barber.  No word on who the ship’s hair-stylist is.

Review:  Wesley’s replacement at the conn (for eight episodes, anyway), Ro Laren and the Bajoran race are introduced skillfully.  It’s nice to have someone on board who isn’t all gaga for the Federation and its ideals and actually has some flaws.  She’s more or less Tom Paris (until Paris became an idealist) with more range.  Anyway, Riker is a pompous ass to her, telling her wearing jewelry is against Starfleet code (except for Worf, who gets to wear adornments every day).  Guinan does a great job at helping her feel welcome, helping the crew warm to her (not knowing she’d betray them later), and helping the audience get to like her.  It’s a shame she couldn’t get signed on as a regular.

The plot itself, with not-quite-insane-but-so-facing-a-court-martial Admiral Kennelly consorting with the Cardassians to destroy Bajoran terrorists, feels like a backdrop to Ro’s introduction.  It’s fine with a nice ‘I told you so’ moment for Picard at the end, but it doesn’t particularly stand out.

Synopsis:  Data loses his memory and cures cancer, yet Troi is the best part of the episode.

Memory Alpha Summary:  This above all: if you run out of new ideas, stop at season six.

Review:  This episode borrows themes from Who Watches the Watchers and The Ensigns of Command, and again both of those were better.  There is simply nothing new here that goes on with Data and the villagers, other than the fact the he can’t remember who he is.  And, pardon me, but the nearest river is two days away?  It seems this planet is sparsely populated.  Nobody has even BEEN to the mountains before.  Yet they build their town that far away from a water source.  Bah.  At least there are some cool visuals, with Data losing his face and getting impaled by a rod.

I do, however, like Plot B on the Enterprise, with Troi trying to get promoted to commander.  It’s a great episode for her character.  It’s a shame it took until Chain of Command for her character to start acting like a professional who’s on the senior staff.

Also, I have to admit Riker and Troi’s conversation using his trombone was adorable.

We are half-way through!  Tomorrow begins the top half of the countdown.

Synopsis:  The penultimate episode further reveals the Federation to be the well-meaning, but flawed government it would have to be to exist.

Memory Alpha Summary: Say it ain’t so, Ro!

Review:  This might be the only episode of TNG that feels like it could have also run on Deep Space Nine, and not just because it involves the Maquis.  It also seriously questions Roddenberry’s tendency to view the Federation as altruistic.  Ro Laren probably represents this better than anyone, and it was nice to see her one last time.  Finally, there’s continuity with previous episodes with appearances by Gul Evec and Nachayev for the fourth time.

As for the plot, it could have been stronger as the relationship that develops between Ro and Marcias feels a bit manipulative, especially with him giving the “last final wish” for his dying breath.  Still, it’s nice to see the crew struggle with the idea that someone they trusted and gave a chance to became a traitor.

Synopsis: Picard becomes the last of the eleventy crew who unexpectedly meets a family member in season seven.

Memory Alpha Summary:  Darth Vader, eat your heart out

Review:  This episode is a bit better than Suddenly Human (mostly because there’s no screaming), but it could have been so much more.  I’m not sure bringing back Bok was the best idea for the fourth to last episode, as his character was and is still is one-dimensional.  At least this time around, the chief engineer and the android get to solve the crime without wonder boy Wesley around to glance at some readouts.

Troi is appropriate with a client who comes on to her, but I’m half-surprised she didn’t go to Beverly to gush over him and ask permission to go spelunking.

For the final time, we have a situation where we’re told that we can transport someone over to somewhere, but “I don’t see how we’ll get you back.”  No exposition.  No technobabble.  Maybe transporting is like tight jeans.

Stewart, as usual, gives an excellent performance, showing himself to be quite vulnerable with his son.  There’s a couple of touching moments.  I just wish the writers hadn’t copped out with “Guess he’s not his son!” at the end.  Granted, they weren’t exactly going to need to discuss Picard’s fatherhood in future seasons, but I think it would have made for a nice bookend with the first episode where Picard confides in Riker that he’s terrible with kids and needs guidance.

Synopsis: Most people’s lives are boring most of the time.  Data’s is no exception.

Memory Alpha Summary: Dear Mr. Henshaw Bruce Maddox

Review:  I’m always up for episodes about Data, but this one simply doesn’t work.  There’s just too much going on.  We have this plot with a Vulcan ambassador meeting with Romulans and there’s just no tension, because we keep breaking for Data to feed his cat or take dancing lessons.

One curious thing Data says is that Vulcans are incapable of lying.  Nevermind the fact that Vulcans do occasionally lie throughout the series, lying would seemingly fit just fine with Vulcan philosophy, as it is sometimes the logical thing to do.

We also meet Keiko O’Brien, one of the better supporting characters on the show (and the next one).