Publisher: Gray Design
Developer: Gray Design
Year: 1991
Platform: DOS

Rating: 0

While certainly longer with slightly better production values, the sequel to Hugo’s House of Horrors is a perfect conglomeration of the worst sins in the adventure game genre.

Hugo and Penelope are visiting his rich extended family at his great uncle’s manor. While Penelope takes a nap, Hugo stumbles into a secret passage and disappears. When Penelope wakes up, she looks through a keyhole and witnesses Uncle Horace being murdered. She then stumbles into the same hidden passage. You then control Penelope for a majority of the game in her search for Hugo.

Once again, commands are typed into a parser. While the parser is not terribly strong as evidenced by the innumerable “you can’t do that” messages, there are few actions necessary that aren’t obvious. You mostly just pick up items and perform their obvious action.

The graphics, while slightly more detailed, are generally poorly drawn with a combination of both 2D and 2.5D perspectives. There are some slightly improved animations, especially with the game’s animals, but the humans still move as if their stuck on a rotating compass. And let’s not forget the sound, which can be toggled on and off even though there are like four sound effects in the entire game (and no music).

Honestly, though, the rough production values are the least of the game’s concerns. One of the first puzzles–and I’m being dead serious–involves intentionally making your breath bad to help resist a creepy gardener’s sexual advances. I can’t remember anything so offensive even in the Leisure Suit Larry universe.

There are two puzzles that require pin-point precision to avoid instant death/failure. Remember the obnoxious winding mountain path in King’s Quest III? Yeah, that’s a walk in the park. On one screen, Penelope can be killed–literally KILLED–by Venus flytraps. The only solution is to maneuver around them, but the hit detection is pure guesswork. Since the flytraps do not exist in a three-dimensional environment, anytime your feet get within three our four pixels of any part of a flower, it’s permanent bedtime for Penelope. Later on, you must cross a tiny bridge without dropping your matches in the creek. Again, the bridge, while appearing three-dimensional on the screen, acts two-dimensionally and figuring out the correct path across is nigh impossible. To add insult to injury, if you try to throw the matches across the creek, the game mocks your idea as too risky.

Another puzzle requires you activating a button to turn on a bug zapper to avoid killer bees. But the bug zapper will only turn on if you’ve already personally seen the bees yourself. So I walked around for twenty minutes assuming the button (that says “bug zapper” underneath) didn’t work at all.

And then we have a fucking hedge maze. The game even knows it is stupid, as it refers to it as a maze of twisty passages, all alike, referencing the frustrating puzzle from Zork. But there’s no puzzle in this maze. All you have to do is map it and pick up three random items scattered about.

There’s a stick of dynamite sitting in a doghouse.

The nadir is an underground cave, which contains a genie lamp and a moldy banana. You need the genie’s help, but only if you get him a moldy banana. The moldy banana is behind a chasm, which Penelope says has no way to cross it. But, lo and behold, there is a bridge that’s out of sight form the player (but not out of sight from Penelope!).

The game’s final act finally hints at some cohesion, as you confront many people in the house, collecting evidence that points to method, motive, and opportunity. The climax occurs with everyone in the house (except Hugo, still missing) is huddled together while a cop asks you to pinpoint the murderer.

Except there’s not enough evidence to pinpoint anyone in particular. And what comes next negates every single obnoxious (and death-defying) thing you’ve done so far. Because of course.

It’s a shame, too, as there are several amusing jokes and a pretty sweet Dr. Who reference. Normally I wouldn’t like expending so much energy dunking on a shareware game. But it’s especially offensive on so many levels, including a $20 hint book that was advertised at the time, absolutely necessary given how ridiculous the puzzles are. And the game is still being sold today on GOG. At least it comes with the hint book.