All posts by Beau

Play With The Prose II, Challenge 6: Apology

Our 59-word story this week had to include an apology.  I was contestant #1.

I was the only one who could stay, though I’m not entirely sure how.  I guess it’s hard to leave when you have something to say.  Besides, the accident was my fault.

As the vet injected the solution, I couldn’t say it.  She was looking right at me.  I scratched behind her ears.  I just hope she understood.

MATTHEW: Of course, euthanasia. I’m surprised this didn’t come up sooner. Even the second story was in a sense, a mercy killing, even if that’s just a confused person’s brain deciding so. I have to fault story 2 just a little for the pat exposition at the beginning, though. It makes the simple set-up of story 1 feel all the more well executed. WINNER: #1

Novak – Is there a reason you compilers hate us judges and leave us with such depressing entries every time?  Is there a reason you writers are so damned brilliantly dark?  I’m not a pet person, but #1 is tugging on strings I didn’t even know I had.  #2 takes a terrible, terrible tragedy and gives us a humanizing perspective when that’s the last thing we could ever want.  Wow.  It took to the end this week, but I’ve found my “Close Call.”  The subtext of #1 is a bit stronger, so it’s enough to take the match-up.  Good job both.

ANDY: It was a strong showing #2, but I felt like you may have laid it on a bit thick at the end. But it was a strong effort. I felt more emotionally connected to #1’s story. I was right there, and it worked. That’s my winner.

Result vs. Zack SauvageauWIN (3-0)

Current Record: 3-3

Next Match-Up: Dean Carlson (3-3)

32: Kirby’s Adventure

Genre: Platformer

Developer: HAL
Publisher: Nintendo
Year: 1993

Basic Idea: Sucking and blowing at its most fun!

Review:  There’s little argument that this was one of the best games made in the Super Nintendo era.  As Kirby, a pink ball with a big mouth, you traverse through stages much like in Super Mario 3.  However, instead of jumping on enemies, your goal is to swallow them and spit them out.  Certain enemies have special abilities (swordfighting, laser shooting, flying) that you can inherit when you swallow them, so there’s a definite strategy to what you suck.  There are also some fun mini-games between levels to try to learn abilities or get extra lives.

There’s not much to criticize.  The game has an excellent learning curve, and may even be a bit too easy (though not insultingly so).  It’s incredibly responsive.  I guess the main reason it’s not ranked higher is that there’s nothing especially memorable about the game.  The graphics are incredibly dull with a god awful color palette.  The boss battles are decent, but nothing to write home about.  And the levels can get a bit samey.  But if you’re looking for an old-school platformer that’s worth playing today, this is a good bet.

33: Dusty Diamond’s All-Star Softball

Genre: Baseball

Developer: Tose
Publisher: Brøderbund
Year: 1990

Basic Idea: Avenge those memories of being picked last for kickball.

Review:  A quirky game I never gave enough time to until I had some friends insist the game was awesome.  I wound up playing in an on-line league for this game a few years ago.  It was a blast.  I’ve played several baseball games over the years that advertised themselves as sandlot games, but this is the only one that truly feels like a bunch of guys getting together for some exhibitions at their local hangouts.

The basic idea is that there are no teams, and for each game you draft your team from a lot of sixty players.  Every single player available has a different skill set.  But the game doesn’t just limit the player abilities to power, contact, speed, and arm strength.  A few have the ability to climb fences, fly at night, or swim in water.  Yeah, a few fields have puddles in addition to the occasional tree trunk or rock.  One guy even has the ability to avoid being tagged out (occasionally).

There are options to play fast or slow-pitch. In one-player mode, you can play a tournament to earn the right of playing a team of Amazonian female softballers who are hefty challenge.  The play control isn’t always as tight as I would like, but it’s just so damn fun that it’s hard to care.

 

Play With The Prose II, Challenge 5: Jerks

This time we had to write a 59 word story about a jerk.  I went as literal as I could possibly get.  I was contestant #1 this week.

THEJERK attacks!  STUDJAKE loses 18 hit points.

STUDJAKE: Dude, WTF?!?

JAKESGIRL casts cure!  STUDJAKEregains 18 hit points.

THEJERK: You assigned me.

STUDJAKE: Not to kill me!

THEJERK: …

JAKESGIRL♥: Remember, he becomes a Paladin at level 20.

STUDJAKE: Why are you defending him?

JAKESGIRL♥Um, Jake?

JAKESGIRL♥ looks down, rubs her belly.

JAKESGIRL♥: There’s something you should know…

MATTHEW: Oh, such jerks! It’s nice that the Jerk in story 1 was labeled thus. Otherwise, I might think JAKESGIRLHEART was the jerk here in that she was feigning pregnancy in order to maintain a relationship with STUDJAKE. But the real reason he’s a JERK is even more jerky. And hey, I love pizza like any other human with a soul, but I can’t see leftover pizza being the cause of such strife. Fresh pizza, sure. WINNER: #1

Novak – These are both very fun.  #1 is a very creative approach, which I want toreward greatly.  #2 is a highly effective bait’n’switch.  This time, creativity wins out for me.  #1 wins.

ANDY: Great idea, #1, and it’s well executed to boot. That’s right… to boot. You’ve found a fellow nerd in this judge, and that helps. As for #2, sometimes these “twist in the end” joke stories work really well, sometimes they fall a bit flat. Sorry, #2, but this one falls closer to the latter for me. A more subtle reveal may have worked better. Winner: #1.

Result vs. Erik Dikken: WIN (3-0)

Current Record: 2-3

Next Match-Up: Zack Sauvageau (0-5)

I originally wanted the joke of my story to be that Jake was playing an RPG, had named the female love interest MYJENNY (presumably after someone he liked in real life), and that he was distraught when a video game jerk stole his video game girl by coincidence of the game’s script.  However, that would have needed more words and still may have been confusing.  So I went with a plausible conversation during a D&D or MMORPG game.  It’s not my best work, but it’s as polished as I could make it.

34: Dragon Warrior II

Genre: Platformer

Developer: Chunsoft
Publisher: Enix
Year: 1990

Basic Idea: Play the prize lottery in towns and a lottery with your lives in the dungeons.

Review: In 1990, America was still behind on the RPG front as this game took three years to get here from Japan.  Final Fantasy took the same amount of the time to cross the pond and was released a few months before this game.  That game probably hurt any momentum Enix hoped to gain with the Dragon Warrior series, especially since graphically Enix seemed to be way behind. Still, this is a solid, if not always memorable game.

Like its predecessor, you begin the game as the lone party member.  However, as the game progresses, you gain two additional party members that enhance the story line and add variety to the battles.  I think the most memorable part of this game for me is the towns you visit.  There are many hidden passageways and genuinely interesting puzzles to solve when you’re not mindlessly building up levels.  The overall story is not terribly compelling, but there are individual highlights that make up for it.

Where the game falters the most is near the end, where some level-building is required, and the final cave has mazes that not only are pointless but hard to figure out.  They are zero clues how to navigate them, and the enemies steal magic points and are brutal.

If you love old-school RPGs, this isn’t a must-play by any means, but you probably wouldn’t be disappointed either.  It certainly is less frustrating than the original game and makes some positive steps, but Enix still hadn’t come into their own.

35: Castlevania

Genre: Platformer

Developer: Konami
Publisher: Konami
Year: 1987

Basic Idea: Defeat Dracula just like Jonathan Harker did: with a whip!

Review: It’s hard to believe I have thirty-four games listed above this one, but there it is.  From the title screen to the opening music, it’s hard not to be in the mood as soon you begin.  The music is appropriately haunting, and the background visuals are terrific.  Unlike most platformers on the NES, the enemies actually fit the theme of the game.  It never feels like you’re not in Transylvania.  The difficulty gradually increases on each level and the boss battles are intense but not impossible.  The special weapons are a blast to use.  Planning which weapons to use against which boss was also a great idea.

My only real criticism of the game is that there are many cheap falling deaths.  Simon Belmont can barely jump as it is, and oftentimes bats or eagles will come flying out of nowhere (especially after you’ve already begun jumping), sending you flying backwards and often into chasms.  It’s certainly not the only titles on the NES to be guilty of this, but considering how little agility Simon has, having another strike against him makes the game seem impossible at times.  And with limited lives and continues, it makes the game a beast to finish.  The farthest I’ve made it without a game genie is the Grim Reaper.

It’s easily been surpassed by future incarnations in the series,  Nevertheless, the game is a fantastic experience that is still a blast to play.

36: Pro Wrestling

Genre: Wrestling

Developer: TRY
Publisher: Nintendo
Year: 1987

Basic Idea: Wrestle like the pros do.  Button mash!

Review: We had four cartridges the first day we got our Nintendo.  All four games made the list, and Pro Wrestling is ranked the highest.  Considering it’s little more than a button-mashing game, the ranking may be generous.  But pretty much everything else about the game is perfect.  You have seven distinct wrestlers with distinct special moves (my favorite has always been Fighter Hyabusa, though I’m not sure why).  The controls are very easy to learn.  The graphics are bland but well-detailed; it’s easy to tell what moves are being performed in all their-bone crushing glory.  There is actual tension, especially when you are close to being pinned or when you’re out of the ring and trying to beat the 20 second rule.  And I love the long trek to try and defeat the Great Puma and win the game.  To this day, I’ve only done it once.  

The game if played for any length of time will surely make your fingers tired and calloused.  Still it’s worth it to know that a winner is you!

37: R.B.I. Baseball

Genre: Baseball

Developer: Midway; Namco
Publisher: Tengen
Year: 1988

Basic Idea: Blaze around the basepaths with a fat, white Vince Coleman while wondering how Al Pedrique made the All-Star team.

Review:  I have a distinct memory as a child.  One morning when I was about nine, I woke up and went into the living room.  My dad was playing this game and excitedly told me that he had already hit three homers with Don Mattingly and was hoping to hit a fourth.  He didn’t.

I originally had this game ranked much higher due to nostalgia (go Twins!), but when I really compared it to the 36 other games I couldn’t justify it.  R.B.I. Baseball was the first non-awful baseball video game ever made.  Play control is flawless.  Defending is really smooth.  And to top it off, they got an MLBPA license.  Despite only having the eight playoff teams and two all-star teams from 1986 and 1987 (and despite getting a lot of the stats wrong), it was a real treat to play with real players for the first time (the game Major League Baseball had the teams but the players only were identified by number, which is simply not fun).  The game really gets the flavor of each team right.  The Tigers and Twins are mashers.  The Astros and Cardinals rely on pitching and brute speed.  

The only significant criticisms I have of the game are problems every baseball game had at the time.  The computer AI is awful, especially with defense and baserunning. Vince Coleman can never be caught stealing, except for home.  Home runs are comically easy (though that’s not necessarily a bad thing).  There is no DH for the American League.  There is also no season mode, though you can play through all 9 opponents if you don’t reset (plus get a nifty newspaper and boxscore at the end of each game).

Many prefer Baseball Stars due to the season mode, RPG elements, and more stylish play.  It has its place, but if I want a quick, ten minute baseball game, I can’t think of a better option.

One of my favorite fan sites on the net is Dee-Nee.com, which goes into insane amounts of detail to show off their love for this game.

Play With The Prose II, Challenge 4: Playground Equipment

This week our 59-word story simply had to include a piece of playground equipment.  I was contestant #2 this week.

His twenty-first victim lay awkwardly, impaled by the obelisk.  He supposed any park would have sufficed, but Central Park seemed to carry considerably more flare.  Twirling his cane, he fondly remembered his first victim, now swimming in the Mediterranean.  His finale, an epic display, would be along the Atlantic City Boardwalk.  He couldn’t wait to read the Times tomorrow.

MATTHEW: Is Story 2 another Hurricane Sandy story? Well, no matter, it’s interestingly written, but still feels like it skims over what could have been a more interesting telling of this character’s actions. Meanwhile, Story 1 makes very clever use of a teeter-totter, and has a funny payoff. And since story 2 doesn’t seem to really involve a piece of playground equipment (what could the obelisk be? A slide?), I’m tilting over to story 1. WINNER: 1.

ANDY: I like both of these stories. #1 has a nice, original story idea, and although #2 doesn’t seem quite as original after reading the first group, the flow of the language works well; it reads very easily. I have found after judging these after a few weeks that I seem to be rewarding original ideas and good flow of language the most, so these are both strong entries for me. The language is slightly more awkward in #1, and I have to give a slight edge to #2, as it feels a little more polished. Close call.

Novak- The first story seems similar to the kind of thing I might come up with, and feel very proud of myself for how clever I was.  I’m proud of this author for being clever too.  Pride because I assume I inspired it somehow.  The second story seems to bite off a bit more than it can chew.  The middle sentence about the first victim, and the last about the Times, are perfect.  The rest of it all might be a bit too caught up details (twenty-first victim) that obscure the emotions captured in the other sentences.  The win goes to the very clever author of #1.

Result vs. David Larson: LOSS (1-2)

Current Record: 1-3

Next Match-Up: Erik Dikken (1-3)

David’s story was amazing, so I have no problem losing this week.  I just wish at least one of the three judges had picked up that my story was about a “Monopoly Killer.”  I can understand why it wouldn’t be immediately apparent, especially if you haven’t played a lot of Monopoly, but I didn’t want to just come out and say it, either.  I think I could have done more justice with the idea if I had another 50 words or so.

38: Double Dragon II: The Revenge

Genre: Beat-em-up

Developer: Technos
Publisher: Acclaim
Year: 1990

Basic Idea: After embarrassingly allowing Marian to be killed right after you save her, seek revenge while trying to keep your buttons straight.

Review: Double Dragon was an amazing arcade game.  The best part was getting to end of the game, saving Marian, then having to have a fight to the DEATH with your partner over the hand of the lovely Marian.  Unfortunately, the NES game was a major disappointment.  Not only were the graphics less sharp, it was only a one-player game.  You also had to earn your special moves by defeating enough enemies over the course of the game.

The second game, to everyone’s delight, fixed these issues.  The graphics are brighter, better defined. You have all your moves right from the get go.  The levels designs are more creative (including fighting inside a helicopter with the door open!).  Most importantly, you can play with a buddy.  The controls take a while to get used to, as the buttons change depending on the direction you’re facing, but this can be adjusted to fairly quickly.  There are some RAM issues as is typical with Technos games, but it’s not as bad as most of them.

The most annoying aspect of the game is that there are three difficulty levels, and the only way to actually win the game is to play on the hardest level.  On the two easier levels, the game just stops after reaching a certain point.  Changing the ending based on the difficulty level makes sense, but stopping the game?  Blargh.

Double Dragon III was creative but insanely difficult.  If you are more of a casual lover of beat-em-ups like I am, this game is the way to go.