Synopsis: A guy is trained to kill, and when the war is over, society doesn’t want him back. Sound familiar?
Memory Alpha Summary: Good morning, Vietnam
Review: As far as Star Trek goes, this is fairly well done allegory about we treat our veterans. It’s a bit hard to believe that this society was able to create a soldier so perfect that it can overtake an entire starship, but the role is played well by McCarthy and the show’s moral is well realized without hitting you over the head with it.
The final week, after six months of grueling work, we finally come to the final challenge. Matt, Nibs, and myself faced off with the following challenge, based off the story Harrison Bergeron. We were asked that every character in our story completely lose their memory every 250 words (or fewer). Wowzers.
“Hit me,” he said, simultaneous tapping his fingers on the table. The dealer was showing an eight, and he a six and a four. His attention was taken away by a dashing redhead wearing a low-cut dress. Instinctually, he used his enhanced vision to undress her. She was just as gorgeous underneath, providing a pleasant distraction from his current losing streak. These days, thankfully, he no longer felt a pang of regret if he couldn’t have every beauty that passed him by.
The dealer laid the two of spades in front of him. “Of course,” he sighed. Another hit yielded a king and busted him. He watched as the suit to the left of him split his aces and landed two faces. Normally, this would have irritated him, but if things went well, tonight was going to be a good night.
“Excuse me, sir,” interjected a cocktail waitress, setting a silver jewelry case in front of him. She was a little pretty, a lot of fake. “From the woman over there,” she pointed with her eyes.
He looked across the room. He caught a woman sitting at the bar, quickly turning away from him. From this distance, he couldn’t make her out.
Opening the case revealed a chakra bracelet, inlaid with jade. Removing it from the case, he slipped it on his left hand. It fit perfectly. He looked up, searching out his new friend. She was gone. Perplexed, he absentmindedly fiddled with the bracelet.
“Sir?” the dealer beckoned.
“Hit me,” he said, simultaneously tapping his fingers on the table. His attention was on a voluptuous brunette that was hanging on the arm of a high-roller. Out of habit he undressed her with his supernatural vision. While she was a sight to see, he was okay just looking. At the age of thirty-one, he’d sown his oats long ago.
“Four makes twenty-two,” said the dealer as he gathered up the cards.
“What?” he cried. “I had a hard ten!”
The dealer showed him the queen of spades and the eight of clubs. “I thought you did, too. Sorry, man.”
He looked at them, confused. “I could have sworn…” he thought out loud.
The suit to the left of him patted his shoulder. “Gutsy play, hero. You almost had ‘em.”
“Uh huh,” he said, picking up his chips. “Good luck everyone. I’ve got a date with destiny.”
“So that’s her name?” the suit quipped. “But seriously, dude, what’s with the get-up?”
He ignored the suit and headed for the cashier. Winding through endless slot machines, he covered his mouth. The smoke was oppressive. He was tempted to use super speed, but he didn’t want to risk getting noticed. Mostly, though, he was growing tired of coasting through life. It left him wanting.
Turning the corner, he was stopped dead in his tracks. A gun jammed into his abdomen.
“Lex…”
“Bingo,” his adversary replied.
He swung for Lex’s head with his left arm. Lex caught it.
“Hit me,” he said nonchalantly.
“Wha?” replied Lex, confused.
“Well,” he said. “It appears you have a gun, and I’m at a disadvantage.”
“Oh, right,” said Lex. “And it has kryptonite bullets. Nice knowin’ ya.”
Click!
Lex looked down to a completely mangled gun.
“Too late,” he said, pushing Lex to the casino floor.
A little shaken–more from the apparent memory loss than his encounter with Lex–he stumbled towards the elevator. He pushed 17, wanting to get to their hotel room and lie down. Lex said his gun had kryptonite bullets. Did that cause his amnesia? Maybe it was stress. Perry White had sent them here for a convention, but he had other plans. Tonight was going to be a big night.
Reaching into his pocket, he was grateful to discover he hadn’t lost his key in all the hoopla. Entering the room, he was surprised to find her back so soon. “Uh, hi Lois!”
“Hey there. Wasn’t expecting you!”
He looked at her, puzzled, until he realized. He looked down at the big S on his chest.
Lois strutted towards him. “How did you know what room I was in, Superman?” She raised her eyebrows, awaiting an answer.
“Look,” he said.. “You might as well know the truth.” He held her hands. She held back.
“Hit me,” he said.
“Sometimes I’d love to.”
He looked around, then looked at her. “When did I get here?”
“Honestly?” she replied. “I don’t know. I can’t remember, either.”
He took a sharp breath.
“But I do know why. Remove the bracelet, but don’t touch the jewel.” He did as she asked. “This,” she said, walking the bracelet over to the fireplace, “is what wiped out our memories.” She dropped it into the fire.
“How do you know?”
“Silly Superman. I’m the one who gave it to you.”
“You…”
“Lex was after you. I knew even with kryptonite bullets he’d have to be on top of you to hit you. I figure if he got too close, this would wipe out his memory as well, giving you a chance to escape. You’re here, so I assume you did.”
“Superman needs Lois, eh?”
“It appears so.”
He sat down on the bed. She joined him.
“Thank you. But I have to let you know something.”
She raised her eyebrows again.
He slowly took off his cape. “Lois, my life’s been pretty amazing so far. My natural abilities have given me many advantages.” He took off his belt. “I really thought at times that it couldn’t get better. Then I met you.”
She tried not to blush. He took off his tights. She blushed.
“You really have changed my life. Being Superman is fun sometimes, but that man can’t do the thing he most wants to do. And that’s be with you.”
Finally, he put on his glasses. “Recognize this guy?”
“Oh Beau, of course I do!” she said, giving him a hug. “I’ve known for a long time.”
“You have?”
“I’ve just been waiting for you to take off the costume.”
He gulped. “So…in that case, I just have one question.”
“Anything.”
“Will you marry me?”
Spooky: Huh. Well…okay. I don’t know why someone would go so meta so strongly at the end here when by now they know me, but here we are. What kills me is that the character is well-defined early on (yes, he’s an existing character, but I loved the explanation of his boredom with his abilities). I get the feeling that this Survivor based this piece around the ending, and upon writing the other stuff just to get there, stumbled upon a better idea that really should have changed the concept.
Characters: 3
Creativity of reason for Forgettings: 3
Overall Story Effectiveness: 3
DK: This is tough. The first section is excellent – the tone and atmosphere, the characterization of this superhero who is bored with the abilities he has (and I get the sense that this initial boredom is meant to resonate more because of the way the relationship aspect comes together at the end) but the pace and effectiveness of both the plot and the characters started falling off around Lex’s entrance, and couldn’t really come back for me by the time we get to the (presumably) author’s self-insertion (although it wouldn’t be any different if this is someone else writing about Beau as if he’s Superman).
Character: 4
Creativity of Reason for Forgettings: 4
Overall Story Effectiveness: 3
20/30
While neither judge seemed to realize that my self insertion was entirely because this entry was a marriage proposal, I don’t disagree with their critiques of the actual writing. As it were, I took third place. Nibbish took the top prize and voted out Matt. Later this week the jury will decide who should win the tenth season of Survivor. It will be announced live on Saturday, as the judges and the players will all miraculously be in once place.
But even I take second place, I’ve still won.
Synopsis: Data has a child without sin, though this one dies sooner than Jesus.
Memory Alpha Summary: Also, Data makes a Mondrian, which is slightly less impressive than making a positronic brain.
Review: This episode had to happen, and I’m glad it did. Watching Data learn the ins and outs of parenting is a sight to see, and Spiner knocks it out of the park. What didn’t need to happen was a retread of the whole ‘Does Data have rights?’ plot from just last season. I find it hard to believe that after a court ruling made just a year ago that essentially awarded Data all the rights of other life forms that he’d have to fight for them again, but I guess making the Starfleet top brass a bunch of insufferable jerks provides upward conflict for Picard and Co.
I’m also a bit bothered by the notion that Lal has to choose from one of two sexes. Not only do many organisms have something other than two sexes, but gender qualities are completely ignored. Then Troi counsels her that the look she chooses will affect how people relate to her and then practically pushes her to select a visually attractive human. I’m not saying I wouldn’t do the same thing in her shoes, but it spits in the face of the “we’re above 20th century superficiality” we had beat into us in season one.
Finally, for the one and only time I’m going to talk about Data’s inability to use contractions. It’s stupid. Next season, Data can integrate lying into his program because it’s necessary for him to do so. But he can’t make a fucking contraction. Lal being able to do so should not be a major accomplishment.
On a brighter note, Riker accidentally hitting on Data’s daughter is priceless.
Synopsis: Wesley takes the Starfleet exam, while Starfleet is on the Enterprise, interrogating everyone to try to see if Picard is unfit to lead.
Memory Alpha Summary: Also, more kids get access to key systems.
Review: I find it hilarious that they criticize Picard for bringing the Edo girl up to see her God but fail to criticize him for landing on the planet in the first place (also, is it insightful or embarrassing that the show is more or less criticizing itself so early in the series?). The interrogation subplot, though, is mainly Remmick being as over-the-top as possible in his snide treatment of the crew, which is more laughable than intimidating. However, it does a decent job setting up some dramatics for the end of season one.
Meanwhile, Wesley is given even more terrible lines as he’s made out to be a self-important, pouty douchebag as he passive-aggressively plays down his talents and then pouts when he loses. One of the girls tells Wesley that if he weren’t so cute he’d be obnoxious. Ha! Afterwards, Wes tells Picard “I failed you and I failed the Enterprise.” It takes all Picard can do to not slap the boy, but he does what he usually does, and tells him in a very polite, reaffirming way to man up. You know, despite what he said at Farpoint, Picard seems to handle children pretty damn well.
I have to say I love the Starfleet exam. Wesley has to perform two tests that are spontaneous and not even acknowledged as part of the test. What bugs me, though, is that they predetermine before the exam begins that only one out of four students will pass the exam, even if they are all qualified. This doesn’t make sense. Starfleet would seem to need an indefinite supply of members, as it’s the only military outfit in the Federation. I understand wanting high standards, but they should be competing against a baseline, not each other.
This episode may be higher on the list for being significantly better than most everything else in season one, though it’s certainly watchable. But how do kids on the Enterprise keep getting access to key systems?
Synopsis: Barclay’s fantasies come true, even the gross ones.
Memory Alpha Summary: No word if he can beat Data Troi at chess.
Review: Barclay’s transformation into a supremely intelligent being is quite fun to watch as Schultz is an awesome actor. His arguments with the computer (because the computer isn’t smart enough) are great science-fiction. I was also impressed with Troi for turning down Barclay’s romancing in a professional manner…and then later she says “fuck ethics” and goes on a date with him anyway. Ugh.
The other thing that bothers me is that Barclay shows at the end, despite the return of his IQ to normal, that he has retained grandmaster chess intelligence. If he can retain memories from his time as the supreme being, why can’t he remember how to make the Enterprise travel beyond warp? Even if it can be explained, I am further annoyed by the fact that none of the amazing science the Enterprise takes back with them is ever mentioned again.
Synopsis: Data loses to Troi at chess, and believe it or not that’s not the thing that makes the least amount of sense.
Memory Alpha Summary: Seriously. Troi beat Data at chess. Fuck.
Review: So the entire crew is stunned and their memories (but not their skills) are wiped. But when they wake up, there’s a mysterious new person on board that only the audience knows doesn’t belong there. This could have been a top 20 episode. But the writers just fuck it up completely.
The best part of the episode is hands down the fact that Riker and Ro get it on, multiple times, and then have to face each other when their memories are restored. Not only that, but Troi rubs his whorish behavior completely in his face. It’s sad that this never gets revisited, but that’s how it goes with TNG.
Synopsis: For the first time since Wesley left, some kids get to save the Enterprise.
Memory Alpha Summary: Of course, they save it from aliens who have the intellectual capacity of children.
Review: Picard who was born in France, has a very, very heavy British accent when he’s turned back into a boy. Awesome. Anyway, I felt whoever was in charge of casting did a bang-up job (grabbing Picard’s nephew from Family was kind of an obvious choice). While the kid who plays Picard isn’t perfect, trying to match the world-class acting of Stewart is a very tall order. “I believe you’re in my chair” is delivered perfectly, as is “and be Wesley Crusher’s roommate?” Also, the “I want to see my father” speech gets me every time**. The girls who play Guinan and Ro also nail their performances. I really believe these are the younger versions of these characters. Keiko’s not as good as the others, but O’Brien’s scene with her and Molly is spot on as well. Sadly, this is the last time we see him on the Enterprise; he doesn’t get a farewell episode.
We’ve had two episodes so far where characters get super old then revert back to normal, so I’m cool with one that does the opposite, no matter how scientifically impossible it may be. I mean, the brain is not fully developed until the age of 25, so the fact that the characters retain their personalities 100% rings false.
Of course, the Ferengi taking over the Enterprise, even with the help of Klingon Birds of Prey, is probably a little much to swallow. At least it sets up a good scene where Riker uses fake technobabble to confuse them.
A lot of people hate this episode. I don’t think it’s great by any means, but for me it’s solidly average.
**I’m sure my brother would like everyone to know that he role-played this scene once and severely hurt his neck while doing so.
Synopsis: Everybody hates Ensign Ro until Guinan tells them not to.
Memory Alpha Summary: This is also the introduction of Mot, the barber. No word on who the ship’s hair-stylist is.
Review: Wesley’s replacement at the conn (for eight episodes, anyway), Ro Laren and the Bajoran race are introduced skillfully. It’s nice to have someone on board who isn’t all gaga for the Federation and its ideals and actually has some flaws. She’s more or less Tom Paris (until Paris became an idealist) with more range. Anyway, Riker is a pompous ass to her, telling her wearing jewelry is against Starfleet code (except for Worf, who gets to wear adornments every day). Guinan does a great job at helping her feel welcome, helping the crew warm to her (not knowing she’d betray them later), and helping the audience get to like her. It’s a shame she couldn’t get signed on as a regular.
The plot itself, with not-quite-insane-but-so-facing-a-court-martial Admiral Kennelly consorting with the Cardassians to destroy Bajoran terrorists, feels like a backdrop to Ro’s introduction. It’s fine with a nice ‘I told you so’ moment for Picard at the end, but it doesn’t particularly stand out.
The penultimate week’s challenge was to write in the flavor of Rashomon, essentially writing the same scene from two different perspectives. I had no ideas this week. So I wrote this:
I
Nikki knocked on the door, and then entered. There was a strong odor to the room, but she was used to it. She never thought she would be, but the joy of taking care of the elderly made it easy to get past it. Most days it didn’t even feel like a job. Especially with Esther. She wasn’t supposed to have favorites, but she couldn’t help it. Esther was her favorite.
“Good morning, Esther! Should we get ready for breakfast?” Nikki pulled the privacy curtain.
“Okay,” Esther said, smiling. She had a beautiful smile, even after all these years. Esther had told her she loved smiling, because she took great care of her teeth and didn’t need dentures, a rarity from her generation.
Nikki put on a pair of gloves and grabbed a new incontinent product. “Okay, Esther, can we roll over to the side?” Esther could not really turn on her own. Thankfully, she didn’t weigh much.
Esther shifted her weight the best she could as Nikki wrapped a transfer belt around her. “What’s for breakfast this morning?”
“Well,” Nikki replied. She was careful to support Esther with the belt as she gently rolled her. “I think it’s an egg bake with an apple tort. Of course, you can always have oatmeal, too. Extra cinnamon, right?”
“That’s right, dear!” Esther said. Her positive attitude also gave Nikki a boost. Most of the other residents complained about the food. It wasn’t perfect by any means, but Nikki had sampled most everything. It wasn’t bad, and the home tried to be accommodating to people’s tastes.
After cleaning her up, Nikki placed the pad. “What would you like to wear today? The blue or the brown outfit?” Esther had more, but she couldn’t remember her wardrobe. Nikki was trained to offer her a choice that was simple and would hopefully make Esther feel more in control of her situation.
“The blue one, dear,” Esther said. Putting on the pants was fairly simple. The shirt was tougher, as Esther didn’t have much range of motion in her arms. Nikki had to be careful, or Esther would wince in pain.
“All right, put your arms up. Okay, now let’s get your right hand through here…good! Ready for the left?”
Esther nodded.
“Now, let me help straighten your left arm here…all right. There we go. Now let’s get your head through. Great. Now let me just pull the rest down.” Whew. “Did that go okay? Any pain?”
Esther shook her head.
“Great. Would you like to stay in bed or watch TV before breakfast?”
“Oh, I think I’ll stay in bed for a while. Can you grab my word finds?” Esther pointed to the nightstand.
“Sure!” Nikki said, eagerly grabbing the book and a pen. She handed it to Esther. “Okay, I’ll bring you to breakfast in about thirty minutes.”
“Thanks, dear!” said Esther, smiling back.
Nikki disposed of her gloves, pulled back the privacy curtain, and walked briskly across the hall to answer a call light. She felt a warmness in her heart. Esther always did that for her.
II
Finally! Esther had her call light on for two hours before anyone came. She knew the aides were busy, but this was ridiculous. Not only that, she just barged into the room. The least she could do was knock.
“Good morning, Esther! Should we get ready for breakfast?”
“Okay,” Esther said. At least she could have apologized for making her wait so long. Esther smiled at the girl. The last thing she wanted was to get on her bad side. She saw her getting gloves and a diaper. Esther didn’t recall asking to be changed.
“Okay, Esther, let’s roll over!” the girl barked. Now she thinks I’m a dog, Esther thought. No use arguing; it would just take longer that way. She tensed as the belt was wrapped around her. She needed a distraction.
“What’s for breakfast this morning?” she asked. Not that she cared, unless they were serving bacon, which was only on Sundays. As the girl manhandled her, she said something about eggs and cereal. She felt a sharp pain in her hip. She held her breath.
“Right?” the aide said. Esther exhaled.
“That’s right, dear!” She wondered to herself what she agreed to. It soon became apparent, as the girl started cleaning her bottom. Esther knew she needed help. She just wished these damn girls knew how humiliating it was. No, they just acted like they were coming to your door with flowers and a singing telegram. Thankfully, it was over soon. If Esther didn’t drink much at breakfast she could put this off for several more hours, at least.
“Would you like the blue or brown outfit?” the aide asked. Two outfits? Esther knew she had more than that. These aides just get lazier every day. Lucky for her, she was in the mood for blue today.
“The blue one, dear,” she said as enthusiastically as she could. She was not looking forward to this. The girl told her to raise her arms and pretended to be careful while putting it on. It didn’t matter. This always hurt like a bastard.
She got her arms through after what seemed like minutes. “Did that go okay? Any pain?” the girl asked, oblivious. Esther shook her head. She didn’t want to be labeled a complainer.
“Great!” the girl continued. “Would you like to stay in your bed or watch TV before breakfast?”
What Esther wanted was a drink of water. Her mouth was dry as a desert. But she didn’t want to go through the hassle of having the head of her bed raised, and she couldn’t stand this girl’s face much longer. So she asked for her word finds.
“I’ll bring you to breakfast in about thirty minutes!” the aide said. Unlikely.
“Thanks, dear!” was all she said, opening up her book to a random page. As she was searching for aster—must be a flower themed puzzle—the aide finally left the room. Esther placed the book on her lap and turned her head to the wall, fighting back tears.
K: This one is a good idea, I think, but I saw the second part coming from a mile away, and once it started, I knew where every beat was going. This challenge is extremely difficult and I get that, but this one just didn’t have enough surprises, just like the first. Is it so much to ask that every one of these is as good as Kurosawa’s Rashomon?
DK: The key part here for me is the detail used in describing the setting and the training someone like Nikki possesses. There isn’t anything particularly mind-bendy about it – I had a pretty good idea Esther’s side was going to be like that from how chipper Nikki came off – but I get a good sense that this kind of encounter plays out just like this many times every day.
Yeah, this was one of my weaker efforts of the season. While it was meant to be brutally obvious where the story was heading, I was hoping there’d be enough atmosphere and detail to still give this story that “plays out just like this many times every day” some impact. Unfortunately, I didn’t do that. I just didn’t have the energy this week to really add much. One thing I would like to point out, though, is that I’m not favoring either character here. They both have flaws, and both are seeing the same situation incorrectly. I hope that came out, at least.
Synopsis: Data loses his memory and cures cancer, yet Troi is the best part of the episode.
Memory Alpha Summary: This above all: if you run out of new ideas, stop at season six.
Review: This episode borrows themes from Who Watches the Watchers and The Ensigns of Command, and again both of those were better. There is simply nothing new here that goes on with Data and the villagers, other than the fact the he can’t remember who he is. And, pardon me, but the nearest river is two days away? It seems this planet is sparsely populated. Nobody has even BEEN to the mountains before. Yet they build their town that far away from a water source. Bah. At least there are some cool visuals, with Data losing his face and getting impaled by a rod.
I do, however, like Plot B on the Enterprise, with Troi trying to get promoted to commander. It’s a great episode for her character. It’s a shame it took until Chain of Command for her character to start acting like a professional who’s on the senior staff.
Also, I have to admit Riker and Troi’s conversation using his trombone was adorable.
We are half-way through! Tomorrow begins the top half of the countdown.
Death By Troggles 
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