Synopsis: The Federation steps back four-hundred years and puts Data’s civil rights on trial.

Memory Alpha Summary:  And we meet another scorned woman from Picard’s past.

Review: Um…so Data voluntarily joined Star Fleet, but now he can’t voluntarily leave it?   I’m surprised Picard didn’t just yell this at the top of his lungs.  Also, the whole “Riker has to prosecute Data” because the JAG office has no staff is an enormous contrivance that is hard to excuse.  Having either of Data’s superior officers be involved in his trial is an enormous conflict of interest and is really unnecessary.  If the JAG office is understaffed, why don’t they just delay the trial in order to get some staff?

And since I’m on a roll complaining about one of the most beloved TNG episodes, our JAG tells us that Data is property after reviewing The Acts of Cumberland in the 21^st century.  Hold on there power-trip lady.  Are you telling me a 300 year old-law that was made before androids even existed applies today?   It reeks of the current justice system’s ineptitude when it comes to evaluating technology.

Picking nits aside, this episode is simply incredible.  The exploration of the rights of an android is done so well it’s hard not to be moved.  When Picard voices that Riker’s testimony against Data was devastating, it was not hyperbole.  And then Picard launches into an incredibly moving speech that is not only convincing but a tearjerker on top of it. Add to that Data’s moving comments to Riker at episode’s end and we have an out-of-nowhere episode here in season two that set a new standard for excellence.

We also get our first poker game, and for one of the few times someone (Pulaski) wants to play something besides five-card draw or five-card stud.  But I have to ask, what’s the money for?  Purchasing goods on non-Federation planets?  Buying sexy dresses from Tasha Yar’s old wardrobe?

Synopsis: Riker volunteers to use the Officer Exchange Program to serve under a psychotic Klingon captain.

Memory Alpha Summary:  I suppose this is yet another time Riker turns down having his own ship.

Review:  This episode simultaneously shows how unrealistically the Klingon culture evolved while being awesome in its Riker kickassness.  As for the former, subordinates have the responsibility to kill their superiors if they act irrationally.  Wait, what?  How the hell did this race not go extinct in like six years?  As far as the “must die in battle—rawr!” attitude, it has some plausibility but the Klingons take it to ridiculous lengths.  There’s one thing feeling a sense of honor by risking your life for your people, but to completely devalue all elderly people in one’s society…well, that is just not conducive to a species that has evolved so far.

Okay, Klingon rant over.  This episode really is excellent.  First, Wesley does the whole, “All you Chinese people look the same!” mistake with the incoming exchange student and gets embarrassed, which is always fun.  Second, Picard is exemplary in his treatment of the new officer when he fucks up and nearly gets everyone killed.  There’s something just awesome about watching a great leader rally people without yelling or giving over-the-top speeches.

However, Riker owns everything here.  Bringing out the can of whoop-ass on his new ship’s second officer is great fun.  His flirtations with the Klingon women are delightful.  And his sly method of overtaking the ship (while gaining rapport with his subordinates) is pure genius.  Getting Picard to surrender is icing on the cake.

I laughed when Wesley told the exchange student, “I’ve never known the captain not to listen to one of his officers.”  Ah, how soon Wesley forgets being told to shut up.  To be fair, he hears it all the time, so by now he’s probably stopped noticing.

Synopsis: The Enterprise meets Worf’s black space monster.

Memory Alpha Summary: And by monster I mean his anger.

Review: I love this episode, and it’s my favorite to this point in the series.  I don’t think most people share this view, but there’s just so much about it I think is magnificent.  The entire episode is littered with creepy but subtle music that really enhances the mood.  There are also some great sound effects when the probes disappear and when they drop the beacon.  There’s great imagery with the multiple bridges on the Yamato.  Emotions run high among the crew, but in a fairly realistic fashion, considering how they all do feel like rats in a laboratory experiment.

It’s very convenient that Wesley is nowhere to be seen when Nagilum decides to kill the officer at the conn.  Ah, well.  I also question how Troi is able to empathically sense Nagilum, when he is obviously so far advanced that he is almost god-like.  But at least she’s helpful.

My favorite part is when Picard makes the decision to destroy the ship (and I agree with him; it’s the only option, even if he wasn’t bluffing).  Data asks him what death means and Picard gives a very eloquent speech that sums up my views exactly.  Then, of course, comes one of the best quotes in the entire seven year run.

Picard:  Abort, auto-destruct sequence.
Computer:  Riker, William T., do you concur?
Riker:  Yes!  Absolutely!  I do indeed concur!  Whole-heartedly!

Of course, Riker shouldn’t have to concur for such an order, but it’s still fantastic.

Synopsis:  I cannot answer that.

Memory Alpha Summary:  Seriously, I cannot answer that.

Review: I love Picard’s opening log: “We expect passage past the Ngame Nebula to be uneventful.”  Guess what?

A very ambitious mystery that keeps you guessing right up to the end; this episode is made even more amazing because Data has to consistently…withhold the truth (he never technically outright lies), which confuses and concerns the entire crew.  The whole thing is creepy despite no real action.  And I totally dig the final revelation.

And then I think…wait a cotton pickin’ minute.  So at the end of this episode, they have lost two whole days but think they’ve only lost thirty seconds.  What happens when they actually check a time beacon?  The ending negates the entire plot!

Still, I love it to pieces.

Have a happy 4th everyone.  Here’s a clue: come back Thursday for #9!

Synopsis: Worf finally kicks some ass, but it’s off-screen and all we got is this trophy.

Memory Alpha Summary: Go hit yourself with a painstik

Review:  DS9 had loads of fun dealing with alternate realities on several episodes, and TNG had one crack at it here.  It’s great fun watching Worf jump from place to place and spotting the subtle and not so subtle differences.  My favorites are Data’s eyes changing color and the flip-flop of the Cardassian/Bajoran conflict.  Then we have a near psychotic Riker who hasn’t shaved in months.  Fun fun fun.

It also further develops the Troi/Worf romance, even though nothing really happens between them in the “normal” timeline.  I always preferred Troi hooking up with Worf instead of Riker.  I never really felt Riker and Troi had chemistry.

Synopsis: Data has his first sober kiss while Picard dances with the Sheliak.

Memory Alpha Summary:  You enjoyed that!

Review: Quite a marvelous episode for both Data’s character development and Picard’s savvy diplomacy.  Data begins to learn that logic is not enough to persuade people, a skill he will eventually use very well when he becomes a captain in Redemption.  His brashness is a sight to see as he actually causes significant property damage to make his point. His romantic scenes are quite poignant as well.

I love how Geordi and Wesley trying to get the transporters to work is a red herring.  For once, no amount of technobabble can save them.  Then Picard cracks me up when he’s told things were going as expected with the transporters.  “Splendid!  Splendid!  Carry on!”

Picard’s final triumph over the Sheliak by turning their own strict adherence to statute against them is a delight to see.   Excellent work.

Synopsis: The Enterprise returns to Earth, setting their phasers to kill.

Memory Alpha Summary: Suck it, Nibbish

Review:  My favorite episode of season one.  It actually feels way longer than 42 minutes with no wasted exposition.  Picard’s covert meeting with various Starfleet captains is chilling.  The return to Earth is fraught with more uneasiness and tension.  Crusher gets to use her phaser to save Worf and Geordi’s life.  Riker’s fake parasitic abduction is brilliant.  And despite the goofy looking claymation effects, I love the gory destruction of Remmick.  TNG swung and missed on some daring things in season one, but this episode was a home run.  Finally, Data’s announcement of a homing beacon being sent out is creepier still.  It’s too bad it became a dangling thread, though being as that the Borg replaced these aliens as the Federation’s nemesis, I can deal.

Even with all the tension, the episode also added some humor.  The computer cutting off Data’s rambling is a hoot, and Worf lands the best one-liner of the season when asked if he ever goes swimming.

“Swimming…is too much like bathing.”

Synopsis: Professor Moriarty, upset he didn’t get to fill Pulaski with crumpets, commandeers the ship.

Memory Alpha Summary: A little device sitting on someone’s table.

Review:  Now this is everything Elementary, My Dear Data was not.  There is a tension throughout as we try to navigate all the twists and turns.  Moriarty is once again brilliantly played by Daniels Davis, and Barclay is a perfect fit.  The ending is cunning and sweet.  A near perfect episode.

Synopsis: Geordi gets a pet Borg and asks Picard if he can keep him, please.

Memory Alpha Summary: Resistance is not futile?

Review: Putting Guinan and Picard, two of the most mature members of the Enterprise in a situation where they both are predisposed to be prejudiced is just great storytelling.  Hugh becoming sympathetic after the Borg were previously evil incarnate also speaks to this episode’s great design.  There are multiple emotional confrontations here that are executed to perfection.  Beverly to Picard.  Guinan to Geordi.  Geordi to Guinan.  Guinan to Picard.  Picard to Hugh.   “No.  I am Hugh,” is such a powerful line. Kudos to all the actors as well as Echevarria and Lederman for writing and directing this nearly flawless reintroduction of the Borg.

The only part that didn’t sit right to me was Troi confronting Picard on his past demons, and quite violently.  It was reminiscent of flooding therapy which has been proven to be quite damaging.  Bah.

Synopsis: Gilgamesh retold where he has virtually no clue what Enkidu is saying.

Memory Alpha Summary: Troggles, their eyes opened

Review: What a brilliant hour of television.  What is essentially two races meeting who don’t speak the same language is transformed by Picard’s skill and grace into a powerful and satisfying resolution.  Hat tip to Joe Menosky for creating this species that speaks only in metaphor and for somehow writing a script that doesn’t lose the audience.  This would be higher, except it really feels like this needed to be a feature-length film.