Our 59-word story this week had to include an apology.  I was contestant #1.

I was the only one who could stay, though I’m not entirely sure how.  I guess it’s hard to leave when you have something to say.  Besides, the accident was my fault.

As the vet injected the solution, I couldn’t say it.  She was looking right at me.  I scratched behind her ears.  I just hope she understood.

MATTHEW: Of course, euthanasia. I’m surprised this didn’t come up sooner. Even the second story was in a sense, a mercy killing, even if that’s just a confused person’s brain deciding so. I have to fault story 2 just a little for the pat exposition at the beginning, though. It makes the simple set-up of story 1 feel all the more well executed. WINNER: #1

Novak – Is there a reason you compilers hate us judges and leave us with such depressing entries every time?  Is there a reason you writers are so damned brilliantly dark?  I’m not a pet person, but #1 is tugging on strings I didn’t even know I had.  #2 takes a terrible, terrible tragedy and gives us a humanizing perspective when that’s the last thing we could ever want.  Wow.  It took to the end this week, but I’ve found my “Close Call.”  The subtext of #1 is a bit stronger, so it’s enough to take the match-up.  Good job both.

ANDY: It was a strong showing #2, but I felt like you may have laid it on a bit thick at the end. But it was a strong effort. I felt more emotionally connected to #1’s story. I was right there, and it worked. That’s my winner.

Result vs. Zack Sauvageau: WIN (3-0)

Current Record: 3-3

Next Match-Up: Dean Carlson (3-3)

This time we had to write a 59 word story about a jerk.  I went as literal as I could possibly get.  I was contestant #1 this week.

THEJERK attacks!  STUDJAKE loses 18 hit points.

STUDJAKE: Dude, WTF?!?

JAKESGIRL♥ casts cure!  STUDJAKEregains 18 hit points.

THEJERK: You assigned me.

STUDJAKE: Not to kill me!

THEJERK: …

JAKESGIRL♥: Remember, he becomes a Paladin at level 20.

STUDJAKE: Why are you defending him?

JAKESGIRL♥: Um, Jake?

JAKESGIRL♥ looks down, rubs her belly.

JAKESGIRL♥: There’s something you should know…

MATTHEW: Oh, such jerks! It’s nice that the Jerk in story 1 was labeled thus. Otherwise, I might think JAKESGIRLHEART was the jerk here in that she was feigning pregnancy in order to maintain a relationship with STUDJAKE. But the real reason he’s a JERK is even more jerky. And hey, I love pizza like any other human with a soul, but I can’t see leftover pizza being the cause of such strife. Fresh pizza, sure. WINNER: #1

Novak – These are both very fun.  #1 is a very creative approach, which I want toreward greatly.  #2 is a highly effective bait’n’switch.  This time, creativity wins out for me.  #1 wins.

ANDY: Great idea, #1, and it’s well executed to boot. That’s right… to boot. You’ve found a fellow nerd in this judge, and that helps. As for #2, sometimes these “twist in the end” joke stories work really well, sometimes they fall a bit flat. Sorry, #2, but this one falls closer to the latter for me. A more subtle reveal may have worked better. Winner: #1.

Result vs. Erik Dikken: WIN (3-0)

Current Record: 2-3

Next Match-Up: Zack Sauvageau (0-5)

I originally wanted the joke of my story to be that Jake was playing an RPG, had named the female love interest MYJENNY (presumably after someone he liked in real life), and that he was distraught when a video game jerk stole his video game girl by coincidence of the game’s script.  However, that would have needed more words and still may have been confusing.  So I went with a plausible conversation during a D&D or MMORPG game.  It’s not my best work, but it’s as polished as I could make it.

This week our 59-word story simply had to include a piece of playground equipment.  I was contestant #2 this week.

His twenty-first victim lay awkwardly, impaled by the obelisk.  He supposed any park would have sufficed, but Central Park seemed to carry considerably more flare.  Twirling his cane, he fondly remembered his first victim, now swimming in the Mediterranean.  His finale, an epic display, would be along the Atlantic City Boardwalk.  He couldn’t wait to read the Times tomorrow.

MATTHEW: Is Story 2 another Hurricane Sandy story? Well, no matter, it’s interestingly written, but still feels like it skims over what could have been a more interesting telling of this character’s actions. Meanwhile, Story 1 makes very clever use of a teeter-totter, and has a funny payoff. And since story 2 doesn’t seem to really involve a piece of playground equipment (what could the obelisk be? A slide?), I’m tilting over to story 1. WINNER: 1.

ANDY: I like both of these stories. #1 has a nice, original story idea, and although #2 doesn’t seem quite as original after reading the first group, the flow of the language works well; it reads very easily. I have found after judging these after a few weeks that I seem to be rewarding original ideas and good flow of language the most, so these are both strong entries for me. The language is slightly more awkward in #1, and I have to give a slight edge to #2, as it feels a little more polished. Close call.

Novak- The first story seems similar to the kind of thing I might come up with, and feel very proud of myself for how clever I was.  I’m proud of this author for being clever too.  Pride because I assume I inspired it somehow.  The second story seems to bite off a bit more than it can chew.  The middle sentence about the first victim, and the last about the Times, are perfect.  The rest of it all might be a bit too caught up details (twenty-first victim) that obscure the emotions captured in the other sentences.  The win goes to the very clever author of #1.

Result vs. David Larson: LOSS (1-2)

Current Record: 1-3

Next Match-Up: Erik Dikken (1-3)

David’s story was amazing, so I have no problem losing this week.  I just wish at least one of the three judges had picked up that my story was about a “Monopoly Killer.”  I can understand why it wouldn’t be immediately apparent, especially if you haven’t played a lot of Monopoly, but I didn’t want to just come out and say it, either.  I think I could have done more justice with the idea if I had another 50 words or so.

In week 3 of the Fiction 59 contest, we had to write a love story.  I was contestant #1 yet again.

“Animal therapy fosters empathy, especially at her age.”

“After what Bella’s dad did to her?  What she did to her younger brother?”  A lamb approached her niece.  It nudged her.

“I’ve seen it work.  She’s only seven.”

“Will she be capable of love?”

Isabella cocked her head, then poked the lamb between the eyes.

“Everyone is,” the therapist replied.

MATTHEW: At the risk of being revealed as a giant cream puff by this challenge, I think it’s safe to say I’m much more moved by someone who’ll take up the challenge of working with intense emotion in this week’s stories, rather than do something jokey. If the joke works better than the non-joke, I’ll reward it. But it’d take a VERY good joke. And I adore the idea of animals helping a damaged person love again. WINNER: #1

NOVAK – #1 is going to an interesting place.  I don’t know that it quite gets there, but I am gratefully intrigued.  #2 isn’t so much a story as it is a tribute.  (Couldn’t remember the greatest song in the world, this is just a tribute.)  A very well written, witty tribute.  Pressed into deciding (who died and made me judge?) I’m giving the nod to #2, which didn’t quite feel like a story in a way that #1 did, but that had a witty enough premise and sharp enough writing to make me overlook that fact.

ANDY – The slapstick moment at the end of #1… I’m laughing, but should I be? I admit, I feel a bit guilty laughing here. I really like your idea, #2, and it’s executed well. I found the idea a bit more original in #1, so that’s my choice today.

Result vs. Melissa D: WIN (2-1)

Current Record: 1-2

Next Match-Up: David Larson (0-3)

I saw a special once on animal therapy farms that help abused children, especially those with psychopathic behaviors, develop healthy emotions.  It moved me.  Thankfully, it also moved two of the judges, though one in a humorous way.  Hey, whatever works!

In week 2 we had to write an entry from a diary or a journal.  I was contestant #1 again.

Sunday (I think)

I am at the breaking point. I do my boss’s dirty work and get none of the glory. I’ve been working for him for what seems like an eternity, but now I’ve fallen down the ranks.  If ourmeeting today goes poorly, my office might just go up in flames.

Monday

God is not pleased.

MATTHEW: Both of these are compelling, and the trickery of #1 doesn’t bother me as much as a reveal this cheeky sometimes does. Interesting how they both end in four word sentences starting with God. I guess in the end, #2 feels a bit more compelling to me, and it handles its exposition well without over-explaining. WINNER: #2

NOVAK – Well we’ve started on a strong foot here.  #1 is a tight little story.  I appreciate the heck out of playful, pun-filled stories.  #2 is amazing.  “bears his condition” is the phrase that makes this entry for me, bring me authentically to this place and time.  To do that so effectively in such short order?  Wow.  Apologies to #1, but I give the win to #2.

ANDY – Well, I like both of these quite a bit. I feel more like I’m there in #2, so, #2.

I liked this a little better than my first story, and felt I would have placed in the top half of the 16 competitors this week.  But I went up against the beast that is Christina Pepper and got beat handily.

Result v. Christina Pepper: LOSS (0-3)

Current Record: 0-2

Next Match-Up: Melissa D (1-1).

I am highly motivated to beat my co-worker.