Genre: Shooter

Developer: Natsume; Dynamic Planning; ITL
Publisher: Milton Bradley
Year: 1989

Basic Idea:  Memorize more crazy enemy patterns before fighting the easiest bosses in shooter history.

Review:  This space shooter ain’t much easier than Gradius, requiring significant amount of pattern memorization.  However, it has my favorite power-up of any shooter I’ve played on the NES: homing missiles!  When you acquire this power-up, you can shoot like crazy while focusing on avoiding enemies.  Unfortunately, if you get killed, you usually have to start from the beginning of the level, which is all kinds of cruel.

As mentioned, the bosses are insanely easy.  They’re quite powerful, but for the first five bosses, you can find a safe zone where you can’t be hit and fire away.  Even the final boss isn’t that difficult after you learn the strategy.  At least the part that comes after the final boss is pretty sweet (and appropriately difficult).

Genre: Soccer

Developer: Technos
Publisher: Nintendo
Year: 1990

Basic Idea:  Play soccer with the guys from River City Ransom.

Review: I think every game Technos made had the same cartoonish blocky guys, sports or otherwise.  Somehow, it always seems to work to a degree.  This game was made for the 4 player-adapter, though I never played it that way.  It’s basically arcade fun, with the ability to play on different surfaces (stone and ice, e.g.) and hurt other players so badly that they’ll be removed the game, giving you an advantage.  There’s also diving headers and bicycle kicks!

If you’re going to go silly, you have to go all the way, and Technos did that while still providing reasonable enough control to make play smooth.  Nintendo World Cup did for soccer on the NES what Arch Rivals and Base Wars could not for their respective sports.

Genre: Shooter

Developer: Konami
Publisher: Konami
Year: 1988

Basic Idea:  Save P.O.W.’s with your Jeep and copter them off to safety.  And, if you have time, win the war singlehandedly.

Review: Of the ground based shooters for the NES, this one ranks the highest for me.  It’s a touch above Guerrilla War for a couple of reasons.  First, saving the good guys is significantly more fun.  They’re not just sitting out in the street waiting to be accidentally shot.  They’re usually in bunkers or storage facilities that you need to open.  Also, you need to then bring them to a helicopter and wait while they board, leaving yourself vulnerable if you haven’t cleared the area.  Again, it’s for nothing other than points, but it definitely feels more satisfying.

The second reason is that the fighting seems a bit more calculated, not just guns a blazin’.  You can strafe with the machine gun, something not often seen with NES games.  And there’s less going on in each level, so stealth is rewarded a bit more heavily.

Still, the game is pretty generic with okay, but not great, graphics and music.  If you love war shooters and have a buddy, this is probably your best bet.

Genre: Shooter

Developer: Konami
Publisher: Konami
Year: 1986

Basic Idea:  Upgrade your weapons just in time to die.  Ha ha, just kidding.  You don’t even have time for that.

Review: The game that a generation of great shooters were based off of, Gradius is a beautiful shooter that has a great soundtrack, fun enemies, and an innovative weapon system that allows you to upgrade to kickassery.  Unfortunately, the game is so insanely difficult (with three lives and no continues, no less) that it loses its fun pretty quick unless you’re the type to wear out your thumbs and your brain trying.

I had difficulty rating games that I felt were awesome with a game genie, but closed off to those with limited hand-eye coordination (and patience).  I think I’m okay with this spot, considering I’m not a great fan of shooters to begin with.

Genre: Skateboarding

Developer: Electronic Arts
Publisher: Ultra
Year: 1988

Basic Idea:  Skate and die.

Review: I admit the nostalgia for this game is higher than its actual quality.  The controls are counterintuitive, but when you’re young, you get used to them.  At least enough to enjoy the game, especially while competing with a friend.  I loved the downhill events, and the joust was decent as well.  And at least when you’re with a buddy, someone gets enjoyment out of you crashing into a fence.

The sequel has a laughable, hammy action/adventure game that is horribly designed and almost unplayable.  But there’s a half-pipe game that is pretty damn awesome.  The controls here are intuitive, and it’s existence helps propel this game into the countdown.  Cheating perhaps, but I’ll often play both games at the same time.

As an aside, the Gameboy game, Bad ‘n Rad, is insanely difficult.  It’s an action game that has some wonderful elements but is just too damn hard to really stick with.

Genre: Shooter

Developer: SNK
Publisher: SNK
Year: 1988

Basic Idea:  Topple Fidel Castro’s regime with two invincible Rambos

Review: When Ikari Warriors was released on the NES, I was rather excited, as I played the arcade and PC versions and loved them.  That the NES port was brutal would be sadder if SNK hadn’t redeemed themselves with a much superior follow-up.  Guerrilla War is fast, it’s frantic, and the easiest shooter you’ll ever play.  You die if you get hit, but continues are infinite and from where you left off.  Most importantly, there’s no way to get stuck and have to reset the game.  Weapons are unlimited and powerful.  The only thing stopping you from obliterating everything are hostages, but even if you kill them all, the only consequences is that you’ll have fewer points.

I would have preferred the game have some semblance of challenge, or at least a more substantial reward for saving hostages.  As it stands, its worth lies more in playing it with a buddy.

Genre: Racing

Developer: Codemasters
Publisher: Camerica
Year: 1991

Basic Idea:  Race three other cars on kitchen tables, pool tables, bathtubs, and other reasonable places.

Review: A lovely little game that easily wins the title of most original racing game on the NES.  The scenery is awesome (I believe the outlines of the racing track on the kitchen table are Cheerios) and game control is pretty fluid.  Scaling is done well, so despite the fact that it’s top-down, there’s a good sense of depth.  I’ve heard playing this game with other humans is a blast, which is something I hope to do at some point.

It would rank higher, except the tracks require a bit too much memorization for my taste; it is very difficult to tell what is coming up ahead.  Missing a jump and having to redo can be rather annoying on top of being a punishment.

Genre: Basketball

Developer: Tecmo
Publisher: Tecmo
Year: 1992

Basic Idea:  Play through the 1991 NBA season (with the retired Magic Johnson) while obsessing over the statistics.

Review: Sadly, the best basketball game for the system only hits #83 on this list, but there it is.  It has many good qualities.  Each roster is complete with real NBA players, with their respective abilities.  Muggsy Bogues is never going to dunk, and Manute Bol can block almost anything shot in front of him.  John Stockton can steal often, and John Paxson can drain three-pointers at a 40% rate.  Goaltending and backcourt violations are called.  There’s a shot clock.  You can’t run through players without being called for charging.  And every statistic is kept.

But there’s just something missing.  Playing the computer gets real boring, real quick.  It’s not just that it’s insanely easy to beat the computer.  It’s that there’s very little variety in how you can beat the computer.  Much like NHLPA ’93 where the wrap-around goal was almost guaranteed every time, rushing the bottom of the court and then dunking from the side is sure-fire points.  There is no play-calling, and very rarely can a player–not even Michael Jordan–drive the lane.  You either make a few passes and take a jump-shot and hope for the best, or pull off one of many, many fast-breaks.

While playing two-player is more entertaining because the games are closer, the variety of play doesn’t significantly change.  Also, while the rosters are full, there’s no need to access them unless someone fouls out, as your starters never tire.  Perhaps if there was more Tecmo-style close-up shots the game would hold a little more entertainment value.  As it stands, there’s little reason to play this unless you dislike more modern games or you really want to play with these old rosters.

Genre: Arcade

Developer: Atari
Publisher: Mindscape
Year: 1988

Basic Idea:  Deliver newspapers while avoiding rabid dogs, possessed tires, rolling pin wielding housewives, and the grim reaper.

Review: A completely ridiculous game that is nevertheless addicting.  While not that difficult to win, one can take the extra challenge of trying to keep as many subscriptions as possible by not missing any houses on your route.  The isometric view can be frustrating at times, but it really does test your reaction speed.  Hard to recommend, but it’s pretty much a perfect mindless game.

Genre: Um…track and field?

Developer: Konami
Publisher: Konami
Year: 1985

Basic Idea:  Compete in ten events against a high score or a friend.

Review: One of the better sports game released in Nintendo’s first year, each event in the game is implemented very well considering the technology.  While there is too much button-mashing involved, the play control is more or less flawless.  I appreciate the game having some precision events as well, like clay shooting and archery.  Unfortunately, the game doesn’t record your high scores, so one would need a notebook to compete against one’s own best scores.

The sequel, sadly, will not make the list.  While Track & Field 2 has more events like swimming and taekwondo, it is simply way too difficult for any sane person.