Synopsis: Riker hangs all of us on the Borg’s precipitous cliff.

Memory Alpha Summary: I am Locutus of Borg.  Resistance is futile.  Your life as it has been, is over.  From this time forward you will service…us.

Review:  “Mr. Worf….fire,” might be the greatest cliffhanger in TV history, though to be fair, I never watched Dallas.  I was ten years old when this episode aired and I remember it like it was yesterday.  The climactic music.  The banging drums.  Shelby’s stare.  Riker’s order.  Then “To Be Continued…”   I was so pissed, but in a good way, and I’ve never eagerly awaited an episode of TV in my life.  Many view the second half of the episode as a let down, but I felt it was tied up really damn well considering they had no idea how they were going to finish it when the first half was written.  Shelby’s a less slutty version of Riker that I wish would have made some future appearances.  She really adds to this episode.  So does Admiral Hansen, really, and it’s nice to see someone in Starfleet Command who actually thinks Picard is awesome.

Can’t find much to criticize here.  If anything, it’s perplexing that Picard isn’t present at the meeting the senior staff has while they’re inside the nebula.  I can never remember him skipping a strategy meeting before, and it seems like it’s there just so Riker and Shelby can have their standoff.   My biggest gripe is that in part one, they try to rescue Picard but a force field around Locutus prevents them.  In part two, the force field is suddenly gone.  Um…why?  Even one sentence of technobabble would have been preferable to leaving it alone.

Also, the poker game is a bit off.  When Wes bets with three jacks, Shelby calls.  Shelby knows she can’t beat him (with two pair), so the only way she can win is if Riker raises and knocks Wesley out.  Granted, Riker raising is commonplace, but if he folds or calls, she loses.  A huge raise was her best bet, especially if she was going to call Riker no matter what.

O’Brien has a lot of screen time, which automatically makes the episode better.

Love the look on Wesley’s face when Riker orders a collision course with the Borg ship.  Also like how he magically doesn’t have any answers to stop the Borg.

I can’t ignore how awesome the music is in this episode.  Just listening to it is chilling, as the trumpets and drums really set the tone for each tense scene.  The scene where the Enterprise comes across Wolf 359 is epic, and no action shots could have done it justice.  A lot of money was poured into this episode, and it likely helped keep the show on the air four more seasons.

Synopsis: Picard keeps forgetting to put his shoes away

Memory Alpha Summary: Make now always the most precious time.  Now will never come again.

Review:  Season five ended with a slew of awesome episodes, but The Inner Light is simply transcendent.  Once you get past the fact that this probe is amazingly advanced considering where the Kataan are technologically, it’s a roller coaster emotional ride that is hard to believe was done in just forty-two minutes.  I cry every time Kamin asks Eline if he can build a nursery.  The realization that Picard was gone for just twenty minutes yet has fifty year-old memories of another person could have been ruined in the hands of another actor.  Ending the episode with Picard playing the flute he didn’t know how to play thirty minutes ago is a solemnly perfect ending.  I get chills every time.

Synopsis:  The Enterprise and some Romulans go two steps forward and two steps back.

Memory Alpha Summary: Gotta go back in time!

Review: Dammit all, I love creepy Trek episodes.  This one has the general feel of Where Silence Has Lease, only it’s better written and better directed.  We have a magnificent teaser, with Riker giving Spot to Dr. Crusher…as well as a phaser.  The conversation the four senior staff have on the shuttlecraft is just a delight.  It couldn’t have happened in season two.  Now, these actors are so comfortable with each other that it actually feels like they’re good friends having a relaxed conversation.  Seeing Picard openly mock someone is great too, as it’s another time with his guard down.

You know how much I love this episode?  I wrote a whole damn paragraph on the teaser and I didn’t even mention time freezing.  The entire story is magnificent.  So many great visuals as well.  Staff frozen in an apparent battle (that isn’t).  Crusher frozen as a phaser blast hits her at point blank range.  Staff frozen in a Jeffries tube.  A warp core breach frozen. Then we have a hilarious moment where Picard is so delusional he draws a smiley face in the warp core breach.

Then, when time is fast forwarded, the Enterprise exploding, then unexploding.

I also remember when I first saw this episode, I FREAKED when the fake Romulan came to life and electrocuted Geordi.  Just a perfect shot.

The only problem I see, which took me watching this episode nine times to realize, is that the fake Romulan admits to attacking the Enterprise after they start the power transfer.  This alien DIES.  Then when time restarts again, Data can’t shut down the power transfer.  Yet the Romulan ship fires on the Enterprise again.  Who is doing that?  The alien is dead.  The other alien is on the Enterprise, unconscious.  And the embryo in the Romulan warp core are probably not capable.  Ah well.  Great stuff.

Synopsis: Worf laughs for the first time in his life, while Picard allows his bartender to send a bunch of people to die.

Memory Alpha Summary: And Tasha comes back and gets to die with dignity this time (or not).

Review: It’s really tough to review this episode because every single second is packed with brilliance.  Superb job making the warship feel like a warship.  I only regret we missed Wesley getting decapitated, which was cut due to budget reasons.  That would have certainly topped Remmick in the awesomely gory (and satisfying) death department.

I do like how Captain Garrett so readily accepts she’s now in the future.  In a lot of television, when characters are faced with a fantastic story like this, they immediately reject it over and over and over until someone beats them so hard with evidence that they finally relent.  Garrett, aware that time travel is possible, quickly correlates all of the information and deducts that Picard is likely telling her the truth.  A seemingly small touch but loads important when it comes to my annoyance meter.

Money Quote:  That’ll be the day.

Synopsis: All hands abandon ship.  Repeat!  All hands abandon…

Memory Alpha Summary: Kelsey Grammar gets to play the same character for ninety years.

Review: When I sat down to watch this in 1992 with my father, we were both blown away by the teaser.  Destroying the Enterprise before the credits even roll is one heluva way to keep us tuned in.  The time loop concept was executed to perfection as well.  None of the shots look the same, and the dialogue isn’t always exactly the same either.  And there’s a general creepy mood that washes over every scene, especially in Crusher’s room when she breaks her wine glass.  I felt the solution was also masterfully done.

My only quibble is with the denouement and the U.S.S. Bozeman.  So the Enterprise avoids entering the loop by avoiding the collision.  They theorize that the collision causes the rupture in the space time continuum, and they get sent back in time.  However, the Bozeman has been repeating their loop for ninety years.  For nearly all that time, there was no explosion.  So…the only explanation is that Geordi is wrong and the explosion has nothing to do with the loop and is just a coincidence; the Bozeman was heading towards the loop, and the Enterprise wasn’t, but got pushed into it when they crashed.  Or something.

Poker Critique:  Data, who gave bad Blackjack advice in The Royale, plays this hand horribly as well.  At one point Data has a four, a nine, a six, and a hole card.  Crusher and Riker are betting huge.  Worf stays in with what could only be a pair of aces (unless he’s also a moron).  The best Data could have is a pair, and continuing to call these high bets in the hope that he’ll get a three-of-a-kind with the last card is idiotic.  Data’s last card is a nine, giving him a pair.  He obviously doesn’t have Crusher’s pair of queens beat, because he immediately folds (which also means he didn’t have a pair before, because he would stay if he now had two pair or trips).  The only way he should be staying with a four, a nine, and a six is if he had a possible flush.  And when I pause the screen on Data’s hand, it doesn’t look like that’s possible, but it’s hard to tell.  Also, when Worf flips over his hole card when he folds (another poker no-no), it looks like he has a three, not an ace, but again it’s hard to tell.

Synopsis: The Federation steps back four-hundred years and puts Data’s civil rights on trial.

Memory Alpha Summary:  And we meet another scorned woman from Picard’s past.

Review: Um…so Data voluntarily joined Star Fleet, but now he can’t voluntarily leave it?   I’m surprised Picard didn’t just yell this at the top of his lungs.  Also, the whole “Riker has to prosecute Data” because the JAG office has no staff is an enormous contrivance that is hard to excuse.  Having either of Data’s superior officers be involved in his trial is an enormous conflict of interest and is really unnecessary.  If the JAG office is understaffed, why don’t they just delay the trial in order to get some staff?

And since I’m on a roll complaining about one of the most beloved TNG episodes, our JAG tells us that Data is property after reviewing The Acts of Cumberland in the 21^st century.  Hold on there power-trip lady.  Are you telling me a 300 year old-law that was made before androids even existed applies today?   It reeks of the current justice system’s ineptitude when it comes to evaluating technology.

Picking nits aside, this episode is simply incredible.  The exploration of the rights of an android is done so well it’s hard not to be moved.  When Picard voices that Riker’s testimony against Data was devastating, it was not hyperbole.  And then Picard launches into an incredibly moving speech that is not only convincing but a tearjerker on top of it. Add to that Data’s moving comments to Riker at episode’s end and we have an out-of-nowhere episode here in season two that set a new standard for excellence.

We also get our first poker game, and for one of the few times someone (Pulaski) wants to play something besides five-card draw or five-card stud.  But I have to ask, what’s the money for?  Purchasing goods on non-Federation planets?  Buying sexy dresses from Tasha Yar’s old wardrobe?

Synopsis: Riker volunteers to use the Officer Exchange Program to serve under a psychotic Klingon captain.

Memory Alpha Summary:  I suppose this is yet another time Riker turns down having his own ship.

Review:  This episode simultaneously shows how unrealistically the Klingon culture evolved while being awesome in its Riker kickassness.  As for the former, subordinates have the responsibility to kill their superiors if they act irrationally.  Wait, what?  How the hell did this race not go extinct in like six years?  As far as the “must die in battle—rawr!” attitude, it has some plausibility but the Klingons take it to ridiculous lengths.  There’s one thing feeling a sense of honor by risking your life for your people, but to completely devalue all elderly people in one’s society…well, that is just not conducive to a species that has evolved so far.

Okay, Klingon rant over.  This episode really is excellent.  First, Wesley does the whole, “All you Chinese people look the same!” mistake with the incoming exchange student and gets embarrassed, which is always fun.  Second, Picard is exemplary in his treatment of the new officer when he fucks up and nearly gets everyone killed.  There’s something just awesome about watching a great leader rally people without yelling or giving over-the-top speeches.

However, Riker owns everything here.  Bringing out the can of whoop-ass on his new ship’s second officer is great fun.  His flirtations with the Klingon women are delightful.  And his sly method of overtaking the ship (while gaining rapport with his subordinates) is pure genius.  Getting Picard to surrender is icing on the cake.

I laughed when Wesley told the exchange student, “I’ve never known the captain not to listen to one of his officers.”  Ah, how soon Wesley forgets being told to shut up.  To be fair, he hears it all the time, so by now he’s probably stopped noticing.

Synopsis: The Enterprise meets Worf’s black space monster.

Memory Alpha Summary: And by monster I mean his anger.

Review: I love this episode, and it’s my favorite to this point in the series.  I don’t think most people share this view, but there’s just so much about it I think is magnificent.  The entire episode is littered with creepy but subtle music that really enhances the mood.  There are also some great sound effects when the probes disappear and when they drop the beacon.  There’s great imagery with the multiple bridges on the Yamato.  Emotions run high among the crew, but in a fairly realistic fashion, considering how they all do feel like rats in a laboratory experiment.

It’s very convenient that Wesley is nowhere to be seen when Nagilum decides to kill the officer at the conn.  Ah, well.  I also question how Troi is able to empathically sense Nagilum, when he is obviously so far advanced that he is almost god-like.  But at least she’s helpful.

My favorite part is when Picard makes the decision to destroy the ship (and I agree with him; it’s the only option, even if he wasn’t bluffing).  Data asks him what death means and Picard gives a very eloquent speech that sums up my views exactly.  Then, of course, comes one of the best quotes in the entire seven year run.

Picard:  Abort, auto-destruct sequence.
Computer:  Riker, William T., do you concur?
Riker:  Yes!  Absolutely!  I do indeed concur!  Whole-heartedly!

Of course, Riker shouldn’t have to concur for such an order, but it’s still fantastic.

Synopsis:  I cannot answer that.

Memory Alpha Summary:  Seriously, I cannot answer that.

Review: I love Picard’s opening log: “We expect passage past the Ngame Nebula to be uneventful.”  Guess what?

A very ambitious mystery that keeps you guessing right up to the end; this episode is made even more amazing because Data has to consistently…withhold the truth (he never technically outright lies), which confuses and concerns the entire crew.  The whole thing is creepy despite no real action.  And I totally dig the final revelation.

And then I think…wait a cotton pickin’ minute.  So at the end of this episode, they have lost two whole days but think they’ve only lost thirty seconds.  What happens when they actually check a time beacon?  The ending negates the entire plot!

Still, I love it to pieces.

Have a happy 4th everyone.  Here’s a clue: come back Thursday for #9!

Synopsis: Worf finally kicks some ass, but it’s off-screen and all we got is this trophy.

Memory Alpha Summary: Go hit yourself with a painstik

Review:  DS9 had loads of fun dealing with alternate realities on several episodes, and TNG had one crack at it here.  It’s great fun watching Worf jump from place to place and spotting the subtle and not so subtle differences.  My favorites are Data’s eyes changing color and the flip-flop of the Cardassian/Bajoran conflict.  Then we have a near psychotic Riker who hasn’t shaved in months.  Fun fun fun.

It also further develops the Troi/Worf romance, even though nothing really happens between them in the “normal” timeline.  I always preferred Troi hooking up with Worf instead of Riker.  I never really felt Riker and Troi had chemistry.