The challenge this week was to actually pick from a grab bag, and this is the challenge I took. The goal was to cover a fantastic story, but in the vein of the Los Angeles media, focus on something completely vapid instead.
…and not only did he grow up here, he now lives on an avocado ranch.
I did not know that about Tom Selleck! Well thank you for that, John. Up next is a story that is sure to interest some of you. And to break it is our own weather girl, Bri. Hi, Bri! I see you have your Pasotti umbrella with you.
Thanks, Christina. And I’m afraid I may have to buy a new one after today.
Why is that, Bri?
Well, as you can probably see, it is indeed raining Milk-Bones.
That is interesting. Have you spoken with anyone regarding this development?
Yes, just a minute ago I spoke with Dick Wolf. He said he was in New York and didn’t know about the weather here, but he assured me that he and his family had nothing to do with it.
Thanks, Bri. And have you tried Michael J. Fox?
I did talk to his agent, who was with him. He said Michael couldn’t come to the phone, but that he was just shaking at hearing the news. I told him to ask Michael if the bones came from Canada, and I was hung up on.
That does sound suspicious. Is there anyone there you can talk to?
Most humans have decided to remain indoors during this event, but I do have a bull terrier with me. He’s being pelted by a deluge of Milk-Bones, but does appear to be enjoying one as well.
Is that Spuds McKenzie?
I don’t know, Christina. Should I put my Ray-Bans on him?
I say go for it!
Okay! Here. We. Go. Can we have a word from you little Spudsie?
I think that says it all. Back to you, Christina.
Thanks, Bri! So John, how ‘bout them Lakers?
Spooky: God help me, the vapid early show vibe here made me giggle a lot, and there were two legitimate belly laughs. “He’s being pelted by a deluge of Milk-Bones, but does appear to be enjoying one as well” might be the line of the evening (or season?). Good job, submitters. I wish there had been two more of you. 5
DK: The ridiculousness of the event is only outpaced by the ridiculousness of the coverage. Which is, indeed, the point. Good job. 4
This is my best week ever playing this game and am a little psyched. Now to keep it up for about twelve more weeks! The Vogons’ streak of finishing in first also continues.
I’m not exactly sure how I came up with “it’s raining Milk-Bones” but when I thought of it I was giggling too much to not do it. At first I considered contrasting the absurdity of the morning show commentary with a dramatic scene involving a dog and a sick child, but could not figure out anyway to make that work (i.e. I learned from my mistake last week). So I tried to see how many jokes I could fit into 300 words.
Interviewing a wolf and a fox was a bit obvious, so I decided I had to throw in deeper lever jokes in there. For those who missed it, wolves are part of the Canidae family in taxonomy. Spuds McKenzie died 18 years ago, so just the fact that they thought it might be the real one was another subtle jab. Pasotti is a luxury line of umbrellas that cost well over a hundred dollars. I wanted a vapid sounding L.A. name, and Bri is the name of a weather girl in Los Angeles. If you ever read this Bri, I am sure you are an amazing forecaster that doesn’t eat Milk-Bones.
And yes, Tom Selleck lives on an avocado ranch.
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