Album: The Beatles Writer: Harrison Singer: Harrison
Verdict: I’ve been really picking on George lately. While reading up a bit on this song, I found little but endless accolades, with some even considering it George’s best song, doubling as both a love song and a painful and moving message to God. So I just fired it up again to give it another chance. Nope. The lyrics are fine, but it sounds like George is mumbling into a tunnel. I want to shake him and tell him to sing already. The ending also sounds like someone is farting aluminum cans. Continue reading Beatles Song Countdown: 175-171→
Verdict: Harrison tries really hard here. His guitar playing is a nice change of pace with the suspended chords and whatnot, and he would improve upon this later with If I Needed Someone. The cowbell in the the second verse really throws me off. Continue reading Beatles Song Countdown: 180-176→
Album: With the Beatles Writer: Lennon Singer: Lennon
Verdict: “I had the image of walking down the street and seeing her silhouetted in the window and not answering the ‘phone, although I have never called a girl on the ‘phone in my life! Because ‘phones weren’t part of the English child’s life.” Okay props to Lennon for writing a song for an American audience about something he had never done. Also apparently the first song in rock and roll history where the bass plays chords vital to the song. I just wish the lyrics or the melody were interesting.
Album: Help! Writer: Lennon/McCartney Singer: Lennon
Verdict: As simple and unimaginative as anything on their earlier albums. Saying exactly what you mean is fine in song; country artists have been doing it for years. But then don’t rely on repetitive choruses.
Album: Please Please Me Writer: Lennon/McCartney Singer: Lennon
Verdict: This is a interesting song from a musical standpoint. The structure changes a few times and John does some interesting things with his voice. I dig the line, “That I, I, I, I should never, never be blue.” But Paul’s backing vocals are needless and distracting and ultimately, the lyrics themselves are underwhelming. If this were an a cappella solo I’d probably like it more.
Album: The Beatles Writer: McCartney Singer: McCartney
Verdict: A song about two monkeys having sex in the street. Or two humans. The song leaves it up to your imagination. What doesn’t require imagination is the song’s lyric. There are a total of fourteen words here, repeated over and over. That seems to be a common theme among these songs down here.
Album: Help! Writer: Larry Williams Singer: Lennon
Verdict: Help! is not the greatest album, but it’s solid and begins to show the promise that would come out in full force with Rubber Soul. The best part is that it ends with a huge fan favorite Yesterday. Oh wait. It doesn’t. It ends with this piece of garbage, a cover song no less. Which would be less a problem if it was stuck in the middle of the album, but it’s just so maddening sitting right there at the end. Ian MacDonald said this about the song: it’s “an unprepossessing shambles of ersatz hysteria and jumbled double-tracking.” I have no idea what that means, but I agree wholeheartedly. I regret ever listening to it and honestly I regret not ranking it lower in the countdown.
Album: The Beatles Writer: McCartney Singer: McCartney
Verdict: One of the few Beatles songs where literally nobody else had anything to do with it. If they had, they might have told Paul to just fucking stop it already. He admits it’s purely an experimental track (another song where there are no lyrics other than the title) that he wasn’t even considering putting on the white album until Pattie Boyd raved about it. Thanks Pattie.
Album: With The Beatles Writer: Lennon/McCartney Singer: Starr
Verdict: Lennon hated this. While Lennon hated everything, he and Paul gave this to Mick and Keith because they didn’t care about the song (and I suspect, let Ringo sing it for the same reason). The Rolling Stones released it as a single and it went to #12 on the British charts, which tells you a lot about the quality of the charts that week. Their version is slightly better, which is like saying that Baby Geniuses is better than Baby Geniuses 2. The song is almost two minutes long and there are barely more words in the song than in its title. Pure rubbish. Continue reading Beatles Song Countdown: 215-211→
I fell in love with The Beatles in my mid 20’s, thirty-five years after they disbanded. Most of what I knew of them until then were catchy songs in commercials and the upbeat pop tunes from their early years I’d hear on KQQL. I was blown away when I actually got my hands on the albums and got to hear some of the darker stuff. They’re one of the few bands where I know every song. That said, they still had several flaws and most of the albums had crap filler. For the next month or two I’ll countdown all 215 songs they released together. I’m not going to discuss demos, extended jams, or much of the crap that was on the Anthology albums that are barely listenable other than as a curiosity. I will say, though, that Free As A Bird is a pretty decent song. Still not making this countdown. And while I enjoy Let It Be…Naked, my reviews of the songs will be what was commercially released before I was born. In other words, all of the major albums plus the non-album singles you can find on the Past Masters collection. If there were two versions of the same song that were released, I’ll pick the one I like better (e.g. Across the Universe). The one exception is Revolution and Revolution 1. Just cuz.
Death By Troggles 
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